What He Got
Since I was kind enough to list some of my husband's quirks in a recent post, I thought it only fair that I should divulge what sort of deal he got when he married me
- I will not fill ice cube trays no matter what. If you ask me about it, I will swear on a stack of Bibles that I have never consumed a drink with an ice cube in it in my entire life. (That tinkling you hear is just your imagination.) P makes a big show about refilling them, sighing loudly, making editorial comments, and stomping around the kitchen. I have no idea why I can't/won't refill them, but I can't/won't.
- I will consume almost an entire can of Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi and then put the can in the refrigerator - with one sip in it. Said can will bounce around the fridge for several days until finally it gets knocked over and that one sip ends up on the asparagus.
- I cuss like a longshoreman. I have no idea what a longshoreman is/does, but if the saying is true, apparently they have very filthy mouths.
- I get up very early in the morning and, more irritating than that, usually wake up in a good mood.
- I am very prissy and will not leave the house until I am completely in order.
- I cannot throw a frisbee. I somehow coil my entire arm around the frisbee and then send it in an arc . . . straight over the fence and into the neighbor's yard.
- I am terrible at saving money. P says that I do to our money what woodchippers do to trees.
I would love to say that he is being compensated with a lot of sex or something in exchange for tolerating me and my control freak, bossy, anal-retentive ways but, well, um, er . . .