I have a big what?

Over time the kid has become more aware of the differences between girls and boys. Now, there are lots of other things that still confuse her. Like, why she doesn't have a husband, for example (although she is giving strong consideration to marrying Prince Eric from "The Little Mermaid"). And why some random boy she just met at the park five minutes ago isn't her cousin. ("This is my cousin!" "Ahhhh, no.") And why she can't have popcorn for dinner. But she does seem to have a handle on the girl/boy thing for the most part. She knows that she and I are girls and that we each have a gyna. "Guy-na" is how she pronounces it. Don't ask - it's a family thing that comes from growing up with sisters. She also knows that her father has a penis.

P and I are both fairly modest people. Maybe a lot modest. We don't walk around nakie or anything. The other day I was getting A ready for preschool when she decided she needed to use the bathroom. Her dad had just gotten out of the shower so I asked him to let her in while he was getting dressed. A few seconds later I heard, "Father, you have BIG PANTIES!"

So, we have learned that nothing is sacred. Last week we hopped in the van and headed downtown to the farmers' market ("markets farmer") and the whole boy/girl conversation somehow arose once again. "Father, you have a penis. I have a gyna." And then this: "Mama, you have a biiiiiiig . . . (I stopped breathing at this point) . . . gyna." We were at a stoplight, so I put my forehead down against the steering wheel and tried not to pass out. I'm sure my cheeks were crimson. I glanced over at P and in his efforts not to laugh, he was about to implode. "Okay, thanks," I said finally, glancing at my adorable daughter in the backseat.

I guess she figures that since everything on me is bigger than it is on her . . . that must include, well, everything. I'm just grateful that she didn't make this announcement in the check-out line at Kohl's during a Super Saturday Sale or something.

As a nearly three-year member of Weight Watchers and as someone who has lost over 50 pounds, I don't want to think of me or any part of me as being "big." One time the kid did call me "Big Mama" while the three of us were watching TV. As soon as she said it, P sucked in his breath and whispered, "Ooooh, don't ever say that, kiddo."

If you visit us, I would just recommend that you remain fully clothed at all times and that you not make direct eye contact with Little Miss Running Commentary.

Comments

radioactivegan said…
It sounds like your little bundle of cuteness is ready for a Bill Cosby show!
June 28, 2008 at 11:01 AM
mama said…
Holy crap!

How adorably innocent is she!
Wow, she is so cute! She's gonna ask about these things at some point anyway right?

So cute!
August 16, 2008 at 4:19 PM
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