These Here are Scary Times

Yesterday morning, the kid climbed into my lap just before she had to leave for preschool with her father. I was in the office-slash-guest-bedroom catching up on a few emails before I had to leave, too. She looked up at a round, black clock that's been on the wall in there forever. It's got a red cat's face in the middle and in place of the numbers are the words "nap play eat" repeated around the perimeter. (It is also ticks louder than artillery fire, which does seem to keep visitors from staying too long. A few have been known to take the batteries out. One overnight guest simply took it off the wall and exiled it to the dining room.)

"That clock has a cat on it!" A exclaimed. I guess it took her 3+ years to notice it. "Yes, your Aunt Craggy bought me that clock a long time ago," I said. "Before you were born."

And then she said it. "When I was born in your tummy?" My heart fluttered and tears sprang to my eyes. She didn't really seem to expect a response, so I pulled her in for a hug and didn't say anything. She hopped off my lap and tucked Teddy under her arm. "Bye, Mama!"

I quietly told P what she had said and told him that I guess the time has come. She is starting to understand, it seems, that babies don't just magically appear in one's home. Oh, but that they did!

I imagine that we will sit down with her soon and give a high-level overview of how she came to be. I don't believe she has any inkling that this baby-making thing involves a second party, so I think we'll just leave that out for now.

How how how do we explain our love for her in such a way that she never doubts it for one second her entire life through? That she was never abandoned, not even for a moment, and that she passed straight into our arms when she was born? That she is all we ever wanted?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I live in your area and found you while searching for info. on swimming lessons. Your family is beautiful and your blog is endearing. I am sure that a little girl with a smile like that is loved and secure. I think that your love and wisdom has raised her that way and it too will show her that family is family no matter how it comes about. I think the biggest thing is that you don't worry about it, I find with kids that if something doesn't bother us, it doesn't bother them.

On a separate note, we have been looking for a new addition (the four legged kind) to our family. Oddly enough, I have been searching for Boxers for about 4 months, but feel guilty going to a breeder. Please let me know if you currently have any fosters.
June 20, 2008 at 9:41 AM
Alabaster Mom said…
Thanks for visiting my blog. I do have a wonderful foster dog named Chloe, but are you sure you live in my area? Occasionally I get emails from people thinking I live in Alabaster, but I *am* alabaster, hence the blog name. :-) I live in the upper midwest.
June 20, 2008 at 9:50 AM
Sam said…
My sister's kids are adopted and they've always talked about adoption with the kids in an open way by using children's books. There are so many great children's books out there that put adoption into easy to understand words for even very young children. My sister's kids are three and a half and they love reading books about all the different kinds of families that are out there. Often the books help the kids to ask the questions they're ready to hear the answers to, plus it gives a context for the information and keeps it very positive. Good luck with this.
June 20, 2008 at 7:12 PM
Mary said…
I'm not the pro here but from what I have seen it all comes slowly piece by piece. A has wonderful parents and that is what matters to her. She just will learn that families come together in different ways sometimes and in time she will learn more and more about how and why. I don't think it's anything that has to be rushed because she is understanding more but certainly when opportunity arrises it can be discussed. With that of course we all know adoption is a wonderful thing and I know from all the wonderful things you have wrote in the past about her birth mom and your love for her she will some day have an understanding that everyone involved loves her...
June 20, 2008 at 10:38 PM
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