You stay home with your three-year-old, hook up your iPod to a speaker, and take photos of each other dancing. Wait, that's not what you did last night?
The life expectancy for an American female born in 1970 is 74.7 years. My weird health history makes me think that I could be looking at a lower figure. I definitely need to live long enough to see if my husband finally figures out how to put the frying pans away properly. (He puts the largest one on top, which results in me shrieking, "They're meant to NEST, for fuck's sake!") I also need to make sure my baby girl pursues her dreams relentlessly - she might need me on hand to swat away any doubters. Thinking about my own mortality lately has led to a couple of minor revelations. The first involves our home. The three of us (plus two dogs, one cat, and one gecko) live in a fairly standard three-bedroom ranch-style house. We could have moved to something bigger years ago, but we opted not to do so. We moved several times in our younger years (including a cross-country move) and we were pretty much over the joys of moving by the time we bought our home. We've raise
13. That's the number of years I've spent trying to get my child out the door for school. She entered the local school district at the age of four. She is now in her final year, and nothing has changed. When she was little, I would sometimes tug off her pajamas and hand her that day's clothes. My futile attempt to speed things up. She generally chose to remain naked. Now, she simply doesn't get out of bed. I send the dogs in. They hop onto her bed and step all over her, overjoyed, in that canine sort of way, that she exists and once again lived through the night. Grover, in particular, cares not where his paws land. Eventually, once she's crossed the line into "no way to get to school on time," she gets up. Barely, and with a slowness that makes her father's head explode, but she gets up. One of my favorite threats: "leave on time or . . . I'll DRIVE YOU!" Having your mom drop you off at school might be the worst thing that can happen t
I'll bet you thought I forgot I had a blog. When my daughter was younger, there were so many milestones to document and celebrate. I churned out blog posts pretty regularly back then. How many did I write on potty training alone? These days, there is much to celebrate but eh, she already knows how to walk, is potty trained, and can ride a two-wheeler. Recently, I hung a framed letter board in A's hangout room in the basement. It currently bears a quote from Hairspray ("I'll eat some breakfast, then change the world"), but I've definitely been tempted to change it to something like, "She used to poop in the tub." My daughter is now a junior in high school. Losing over a year of in-person schooling to COVID leaves me feeling perplexed about how we got here. She was a freshman and now she's graduating a mere 20 months from now? Her school is currently in session five days a week, in person, and masks are required. I've heard of parents pulling
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