And you thought you could rely on inanimate objects to be . . . well, inanimate. (Alternate title: this is where the tall tales begin.)

Yesterday morning, I sent my cherubic daughter off to school in a light blue Gymboree frock ("with a beauuuuutiful ice skater princess on it, Mama") and with a white plastic headband perched on her skull.

When I picked her up, no headband. I learned that an amazing feat of physics had occurred during the afternoon. Apparently, the headband flew off her head and spontaneously snapped in two. "It broked all by itself," my daughter assured me solemnly.

"Really?" I responded. "You weren't, you know, twisting it?"

A shook her head vigorously. She didn't break down under cross-examination when her dad asked her about it at dinner either. You gotta give her credit for sticking to her story, no matter how illogical.

Later, when I was talking to my mom, she suggested that maybe a malevolent spirit had attacked my child. A spirit that . . . really has it in for headbands. I believe it may be related to the same malevolent spirit that has been known to color on our couch with a marker.

The worst part about the headband incident was that I had to take her to the grocery store with matted curls hanging in her face. She also had various stains (picked up in the course of the day) on her ice skater princess dress. Basically, I had to complete my shopping with a homeless street urchin sitting in my cart. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm so happy to know that I am not the only parent out there who has children that look like they came straight from the streets with no bath for a week.
I'm actually glad to see other kids like this with their put-together parents...it just makes me feel better about myself!
November 5, 2008 at 9:14 AM
Anonymous said…
The exact reason S does not go to school in her Gymboree clothes! PS - Friends and Family 30% off starts tomorrow!
November 5, 2008 at 10:36 AM
Anonymous said…
At least she is keeping the critters and such out of her pockets. Things I have found in my boys pockets over the years- rocks-lots of them, a worm, a spider in a bug hut, ants- in the same bug hut, leafs, not to mention smashed cookies that they were," saving for later"- right next to the bug hut, dirty rock and leaf pieces. Plus I could always tell when my boys had a good day by their wet puppy smell. Now that the majority of them are teenagers I long for that wet puppy smell- it smells much better that the stinky after football practice smell.
November 5, 2008 at 11:15 AM
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