The dream police, they live inside of my head

The dream police, they live inside of my head.
The dream police, they come to me in my bed.
The dream police, they're coming to arrest me.

I've had strange dreams for the past two nights.

Dream #1: Adam Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood from Fountains of Wayne were hanging out at my house. I love Fountains of Wayne so this should have been quite the thrill for me. However, I was dying and found their visit to be a bit of an inconvenience. I don't know why/how I was dying, because in the dream I kept saying, "Oh no, I feel fine, but I'm definitely dying." Adam and Chris, who seem like they would be sensitive chaps in real life, were not sympathetic to my plight. They kept handing me their camera and posing in various spots around my house. I am not much of a photographer but tried to oblige. But when I would pick up their camera and look through it, I could never find them in the frame. Instead, I would see this weird distorted image as if I were looking at a funhouse mirror.

Dream #2: I was hanging out with my friend R from Jersey. The dream was happening in the present, but we seemed to be hanging out in the bedroom she lived in when we were 12. The room was kinda messy, cuz that's how she rolls (to this day she never lets me see certain rooms in her house because they are too messy, even though I have known her for 26 years). So anyway, we're sitting on her bed and this huge bug walks by (R, if you are reading this, my subconscious mind was NOT implying that you have bugs in your house!) It kinda looked like one of those grasshopper things from Men in Black, so maybe it was actually an alien. Anyway, we threw a paperback book at it in an effort to kill it. But it just crawled out from under the book and moved on. So then we started throwing increasingly larger books on it, and finally attempted to smash it beneath an encylopedia. No dice. Finally, R handed me a pair of scissors and I cut it in half. Five little pinkish white larvae popped out of the dead body and immediately bored through the wooden floor . . . apparently headed off to mutate into adult bugs.

And speaking of dreams, I think the kid is having what they call night terrors - apparently common at her age. I wouldn't really call them terrors, though - more like nighttime irritations. She starts to whine and call for me and when I check on her she usually just mumbles something about her teddy bear and then rolls over. One night she yelled, "I wanna go downstairs!" My other theories are that she has growing pains or that she keeps falling asleep with her arm smashed under her skull (I've seen her do it) and it then falls asleep and gets all tingly and weird on her.

We're headed out of town for the weekend (don't bother robbing us while we're gone - we don't even have a flat-screen television). It's an annual company trip, so we don't have to pay for it. Yay! It has taken me three days to pack for a two-day trip. Just once I would like my other half to lay awake at night and wonder, "Does my daughter have enough diapers for the trip? Did I remember her snow boots? How about her toothbrush?" Since this is all part of a fanciful dream, I'll take it one step further and imagine him saying, "Wow, I sure do appreciate my wife and all she does for our family. I should buy her something expensive."


Mary said…
Dream on girl... referring to your last sentence.;)I remember packing a trillion times to go up nort' and I never heard that. Maybe you will get luckier than me.
I did get a little grossed out about the bug dream, cut it with a scissors?? Ewwwww.....
Anonymous said…
No bugs just Woodpeckers in our house. Yes, you read that right- I came home from my afternoon chauffeur job-aka Mom's Taxi- to find a woodpecker flying around my house and my dog going nuts. My oldest two, who are over 6 feet & teenagers, ran to their rooms to avoid the deadly bird. The youngest, who's eight and around my height, stayed around to "help" which translated to-"Can I keep him for a pet?" "He can stay in my room" to tears and "Don't cook him" when I tried to catch the bird in a pot with a lid. At this point my husband walked in and asked why I was standing on the chair in the living room. When I told him I was trying to catch a Woodpecker he looked at me like I had lost it. Lucky for me the bird dive bombed him at that point and he said,"look a woodpecker." Of course he caught it pretty quick and I got to disinfect every surface in my house cause who knows what kind of party the dog and that bird were having before we walked in. I think he got in through the dryer vent which my dh was nice enough to "clean" for me- but which he didn't feel needed to be closed & reconnected when he was done.

By the way we've known each other 27 years. Man we are getting old.
Unknown said…
Those weren't dreams, dear. Those were full blown nightmares. Especially the bug one - eewww! I hate bugs, real or otherwise. What did you have for supper anyway? Maybe it was a bad bottle of beer or something. Whatever, I hope you have nothing but sweet dreams from now on.

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