Sore loser


How does one teach a child to be a graceful loser?  I am clearly failing at it, as evidenced by the fact that my daughter bursts into tears and has a dramatic meltdown any time she loses a game. This morning I went to her school to participate in a "Math and Muffins" event.  Parents gathered in the gym and then headed into the classrooms to sit with their child(ren). One of A's friends didn't have a parent present, so we invited her to join us.  We had a deck of playing cards and some instructions for playing a couple of simple addition and subtraction games.  Since the games were mostly intended for two people, I let A and her friend play. I dealt the cards and then watched them playing the math games. You and I both know I was really just there for the muffin.  However, it turned out to be a mini muffin, which was tragic.

Things seemed to be going pretty well until my daughter lost two games in a row. She blamed her friend, alleging that her friend had made up the rules and then changed them as they went along. I witnessed both of them blatantly cheating and changing rules, so I'm not sure what the problem is. All I know is that I had a teary kid on my hands. Her friend suggested that they just get some markers and color instead.

I really don't know how to encourage her not to get so upset about losing. I've suggested that she just say, "Oh well, maybe next time!" When I play games with her and she wins, she does so "fair and square."  I do not let her win. The only exception is that when she was younger, I would usually rig the Candyland deck to let her win. As any parent will tell you, if you don't rig the deck, Candyland can go on for DAYS. Generally speaking, though, I don't go out of my way to let her win. I feel like it's good for her to lose sometimes. She just needs to find a way to cope with losing that doesn't involve copious tears.

My personal go-to strategy?  Talking smack about the other player. When I am losing at Words with Friends (which happens a lot), my usual tactic is to imply that my opponent:
  • is making up words that do not exist  ("Oh yeah? Use that in a sentence, you word-maker-upper, you!")
  • is probably mentally ill
  • was born to parents who were not married at the time of his/her birth
  • is just getting lucky
See, talking smack about your opponent deflects the I-am-losing vibe and makes it more fun, right?  

On second thought, maybe I should not be the one to teach my daughter about good sportsmanship.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's been a minute, but let's talk about my b*o*o*b*s

Image
I'm in the sixth grade. I'm sitting on the floor at my friend Sharon's house. Rachel is there, too. My well-meaning friends turn to me and gently let me know that I "really don't need to bother wearing a bra." They aren't wrong. I'm wearing one, but the situation doesn't particularly warrant it.  Two years later, I found myself sporting a C cup. My mom, a talented seamstress, made me a dress at about that time. It was a slim-fitting column dress with a matching jacket, as I recall. The white fabric had large polka dots; we jokingly called it the Wonder Bread dress. My mom took my measurements. 36-24-36 At some point in history, those numbers were considered "perfect measurements" for a woman. This was 1984; I'd like to think the world as a whole is less concerned about such things these days. I'm confident my daughter has no earthly idea what her measurements are. She just knows she's cute.  Growing up with a fun array of medi...
Read more

On Being Patriotic

The list of adjectives I assign to myself is pretty long: clumsy, organized, competent, uptight, etc. One that might surprise you: patriotic. I fully understand what it means to be an American and am darned happy about living here. But, I have a beef (that part won't surprise you). I've grown tired of certain segments of the population thinking that they've cornered the market on patriotism or that they can dictate precisely how the rest of us express ourselves when it comes to our shared country and flag. Sometimes it seems like the Toby-Keith-boot-in-yer-ass brand of patriotism drowns out the rest of us. For the record, I don't believe that patriotism requires a love of NASCAR, a disdain for immigrants, a Republican voting record, or a preference for country music. Nor does it require adherence to a specific religion. I've seen Facebook posts from some of my friends and acquaintances that call for all of us to return to the "Christian principles on which ...
Read more

14 Weeks

Image
My baby is leaving me in 14 weeks.  She and I started touring colleges in May of 2022. When I applied to colleges back in 1988, I was an English major so there were no auditions. Colleges basically just said, "Sounds good. Come on in." I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college and as a whole, I don't think we understood the importance of campus visits and such. I ended up being fairly miserable that first year until I transferred to a school closer to home. For my daughter, I wanted to make sure she had an opportunity to see lots of college campuses so that she had the best shot at figuring out what she wants out of the college experience. I wanted her to look at elements like campus size and location, diversity, activities, distance from home, and distance from the nearest "big city" (since performers often head to larger cities with active theatre scenes after college).  Last summer, we began the daunting process known as "getting int...
Read more