The Wisdom of Homer

My "Boxer a Day" calendar contained a funny quote from Homer Simpson the other day, so I decided to look up some other good quotes. As Simpsons fans know, there are plenty. Here are a few of my favorites:

Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Homer: Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow.

Homer: The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten

Duff book of records: Springfield is now the fattest city in the U.S.
Homer: Woo Hoo. In your face Milwaukee.

Homer: Marge, I'm going to Moe's. Send the kids to the neighbors, I'm coming back loaded

Homer: He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?!?

Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

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