He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
Since it's now March, I figured it was safe to start using this guy as ammunition:
I've been conjuring images of empty Easter baskets, of eggs left undyed and unhidden, of candy undelivered. When I picked her up from school today, A asked me, "Would you please tell the Easter Bunny that I'm being a good girl?"
"Sure," I replied. "As soon as you can pull it off for more than eight consecutive minutes."
Between now and April 12th, I expect there will be several instances of inappropriate marker usage, water purposely poured out of the bathtub, and at least one dog-related incident. "Ohhhhh, I don't think the Easter Bunny wants you doing THAT," I'll say with a frown. Truly, I have no shame. Just when you think you've sunk as low as a parent can go, you find you haven't even gotten started. Of course there is a law prohibiting kids from leaving the dinner table until their vegetables are gone - everybody knows that.
Once Easter passes, I'll shift into it's-almost-your-birthday-so-I-wouldn't-do-that-if-I-were-you mode. There is a dearth of mythological holiday-related figures in the summertime, so I'm not sure what I'll do then. We need a Memorial Day fairy, that's what we need.
I think I'll try it again next Christmas.
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