I had a quiet week last week, so no weighty topics to discuss. I think the most exciting thing that happened to me last week was that I picked some scabs off Gretchen's back. Her case of the creeping epizooties remains mostly unsolved.  Last night we attended a really fun event at church. It's an annual service auction fundraiser, an event that might sound boring but there is wine and chocolate involved, which in Claudia-speak translates to "an offer I can't refuse."  One of the church members couldn't be there but wanted to bid on three items in the live auction (we also had a silent auction). He was at a basketball game and wanted to communicate via text. I was volunteered to be his texting buddy. I warned my "texting buddy" that I would be drinking wine while bidding on stuff for him. Fortunately, I was able to get him two of the three items he wanted. The bidding got a little heated on a massage package. As the bidding soared higher, the massage therapist (another member) who was offering the massage wanted it made clear that she was just offering a massage and not a "happy ending."  So I tapped it out into my phone: "Vicki sez: 'no happy ending.'"  Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I love the fact that I love my church. So many people dread going to their place of worship, you know?

In other news, it occurred to me that I should take a peek at the Google Analytics for my blog - something I had not done for quite a while. I logged in today. Looking at the stats, a couple of things are clear:

1. Fame and fortune are still pretty far off.
2. People find my blog by searching on some very odd words/phrases.

Here are a few of the weird ones from 2012:
  • eardrum doesn't move
  • I hate this time of year (Moi aussi, mon ami. Moi aussi.)
  • yeller thing
  • mom smut 
  • mother, washing machine is now broken (Ummmm . . . )
  • exhibitionist mom (um, I think you may have me confused with some other kind of mom - like maybe the naked kind)
  • mom pee party (I was invited to one of those last week but couldn't go because I was out of town)
  • easter bunny with empty basket (now that's just tragic)
  • mom cooter (seriously? and two people searched on that term and got to my blog!) 
  • am i the only mom who screams at her kids (I think it's safe to say: no)
  • are there muzzles for the elderly (WTF?)
  • fudge sticks are addicting (tell me about it! let me know if you find a support group or anything)
  • how to disguise a turkey to look like something else  
  • buttocks massage alabaster (no happy ending for you, buster)


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