Can you hear me now?

We received a letter from the health department today. RE: "your child." It turns out she failed the hearing exam at school. Twice. The letter says that "your child may have a hearing loss that is medically and educationally significant." We're supposed to take our daughter for a more formal auditory evaluation.

This notification from the health department, while slightly alarming, is at least marginally better than the one my sister received: "your child may have head lice." My niece did, indeed, have lice. At this point I can't even call my sister's house without itching and scratching all the while. I may have to unfriend her on Facebook just to be on the safe side. Those little nits are pretty tenacious, you know.

So, it looks like I'll be making the kid an appointment with the pediatrician on Monday. Then I guess we'll see where we go from there. Her pediatrician (well, an assistant) did attempt to carry out a hearing test at A's four-year exam back in May. She didn't fail the test, but she also didn't pass. The evaluator filled out the report to say she was unable to properly assess my daughter. The problem was that the kid couldn't seem to remember to put her hand up when she heard the beeps. The tester could see that A's expression changed slightly every time a beep came through her headphones, but the little goober couldn't seem to coordinate the two (hearing + hand-raising). I was told that it's not uncommon for a four-year-old not to fully comprehend the test so I didn't give it a second thought. Until I got the letter.

I don't want to be in denial, but honestly, I think my daughter can hear just fine. The problem is that she doesn't listen. Two totally different issues, I'd say. She can hear perfectly well when you use words like santa, candy, park, or chocolate milk. Phrases like "brush your teeth" and "it's time for bed" are mostly met with silence.

In other news, Gretchen and I were in the local holiday parade today (with the kennel club where we train). I was going to bring Gideon, but he started limping at the last second. I wanted to take him, because he is better with other dogs than she is. Gretchen actually did fine, with the exception of punching a Dachshund in the head and doing the "You wanna a piece of this?" routine with a black Lab. I don't know why, but something about black Labs just seems to chap her ass. She always wants to take them down.

After the parade, I stopped at a craft fair. Guess what I bought? No, not a "snowmen fall from heaven unassembled" plaque, but good guess. The other little witticism often spotted at craft shows that makes me spit up is "don't drive faster than your angels can fly." Why, oh why, must I be so cynical? I blame my parents. This afternoon I made vegetarian chili using a handwritten recipe my mother gave me years ago. Here is what she wrote for me: "add a little of the cayenne. Most people are not as candy-assed as you when it comes to spicy food, so keep this in mind." It is a wonder I am not in therapy.

Anyway, in case you haven't guessed, I bought a hula hoop. One of my web clients conducts hooping classes and somewhere along the way she convinced me that this is a legitimate form of exercise. The hoops are weighted and you can immediately feel the impact on your torso. I figure that when the snow is hip-high this winter, maybe I can spend 15 minutes a day in the basement hooping. Apparently one can burn something like 600 calories an hour this way. Mary was selling the decorated hoops at the craft fair and when I spotted her, I heard myself saying "What size hoop do I need?" and then shortly thereafter I was writing a check.


Unknown said…
I'm so with you on the hearing vs. listening. "Please pick up that train before you step on it again," is met with a blank stare and a broken train 30 seconds later. But the simple mention of dessert from another room and he's standing right next to me. He did have his hearing tested in May. The exam was a little different. He had the headphones and a board with pictures on it. He would hear a word at different pitches etc.. and then had to point to the picture. Might be easier to understand. Hope it works out well for her.

Just Lisa said…
I am positive that A is fine. You would think that Allie has a hearing problem too, but she just chooses what she wants to hear!

I LOL-ed when you said you were thinking of defriending your sister! Hey, I've defriended people for less!
Susie said…
So true about hearing vs. listening. I seem to have a little guy around here doing the same thing. I blamed it on him being male--you know, since he's such an overachiever, I thought maybe the selective hearing started early. Good luck with the test. I'm sure she's just fine, and if not, no biggie. Could be worse, and it would be better to catch it now. Love love love your mom's note about the cayenne, but I'm with you. Nothing at all wrong with being candy assed, if you ask me! :)
Beth said…
Meh. My son was evaluated by an ENT and diagnosed with a hearing loss. We monitored for several months and then had tubes put in his ears, to help drain the fluid that was causing the loss. Doesn't really seem to have made a difference. Whisper, "Cookie," from three streets away and he'll come running. Shout, "Bedtime," right in to his ear and he's totally blank-faced.

I've no doubt that there was fluid in his ears, though....without being too graphic, I'll just say that his nightly, post-bath Q-tip usage has doubled; they're not just drying his ears anymore!

Popular posts from this blog

Life is too short for white walls and self-hatred

Senior Year: The Bittersweet Lasts

Back to regularly scheduled programming (sort of)