How you know you are getting old


Giddy and Gretchen and their geriatric owner

A few days ago, I was tooling around in my uber-cool mini-van, running errands with the kid. I flipped through the radio stations in search of a decent song. I hit the "seek" button and watched the radio's display fly through a few digits and then stop at the oldies station. Just then, "Private Eyes" by Hall and Oates came on. This, my friends, is how you know you are getting old.

See, when I was a kid, the music that played on the local oldies station was recorded in the 50s. We're talkin' Frankie Valli, Dion, and The Chiffons. Indeed, it was OLD. Made perfect sense. Then, as I grew into adulthood, I noticed that songs from the 60s and sometimes 70s made their way into the wayback machine. Still, I thought, those songs are pretty damn old, too.

Now, it seems, songs from the 80s are officially moldy-oldies. When I was in sixth grade, my friends Rachel and Sharon and I sat in Sharon's bedroom and sang "Private Eyes" at the top of our lungs. We timed the claps just right. "PRIVATE EYES! [clap clap] THEY'RE WATCHING YOU!" [clap clap] It was right up there with "I Love Rock-n-Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, a ditty that we also knew by heart.

I'm turning 39 on Saturday, so maybe I was just ripe for a mini-crisis when the oldies station decided to mock me this way.

I'm off to complain about the government, drive dangerously slow in the left lane, and fret about my fiber intake. :::sigh:::

Comments

KarenE said…
When do we get that AARP card? I'm looking forward to blue-hair specials and the endless cups of coffee at McDonalds.
February 12, 2009 at 4:53 PM
Susie said…
Hee hee! That senior citizen discount is right around the corner missy! I hear that Kashi makes products with lots of fiber, so no need to worry! Hope you have a great b-day on Saturday!
February 12, 2009 at 10:19 PM
Mary said…
Why are you choking Gretchen like that??;) Does that come with age too?? Then I must have choked off a few myself.=) If you are geriatric what am I?? I must admit I like the oldies station just about better than any these days, they just don't make rock and roll like they use to that's for sure. Just keep in mind you are as young as you feel... some days that's good, some days not....;)
February 12, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Anonymous said…
I still sing Private Eyes at the top of my lungs! Don't you?

I did the classic old person maneuver in the car on the way to NYC last weekend- that turn signal must have been blinking for miles. But I have a legitimate excuse- three teenagers in my hip old mini-van and Martin Sexton's HAPPY blasting on the radio.

And we aren't getting old- hell we aren't even middle age yet- I plan on living till I am 100.

Can you believe we have known each other for almost 30 YEARS!!??!! Ah the secrets we share- I love ya- Happy almost birthday!
February 13, 2009 at 1:33 AM
Anonymous said…
Holy Crap! I did the exact same thing...flipping channels on Monday...find 103.1 and hear Angel is a Centerfold...WTH???
February 13, 2009 at 10:41 AM
Audreee said…
Haha! You're old. I find it even funnier that the add on your blog is advertising wine stores in Minneapolis.
February 13, 2009 at 12:01 PM
Audreee said…
I meant ad, not add.
February 13, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Jen J said…
Happy Birthday my friend!!! I'm not that much behind you and was shocked to hear some Duran Duran on the "Light Music" station the other day! I was a little weirded out --- I remember the day when they were never considered "Light!" ACK!

I hope that you have an amazing day!
February 14, 2009 at 2:13 PM
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