Great $%&#ing Weekend

Winter returned over the weekend, so we didn't do much. I painted one of our bathrooms on Saturday. I thought that my other half would spend quality time with his child while I painted, but instead left her to watch Noggin while he attempted to watch the NFL draft and play online poker simultaneously. We had a friendly conversation about that later in the evening after the kid went to bed.

On Saturday we had A's three-year photos taken. It went pretty well. I attempted to change her clothes and re-style her hair halfway through, but I mucked up her hair somehow. Curly hair can go from adorable ringlets to crazy poufy cotton candy in a matter of seconds. We did purchase some good shots from the first half of the photo session. She has a ding on her forehead in all of the shots. ("How did you get this owie?" "I don't know.") I did select an outfit that covered up the bruises on her legs. She also has a fairly nasty scrape on one calf, which happened at daycare. I asked her how it happened and got a long story about a swing and how her friend never lets her take a turn and on and on. Such is life, I guess.

This weekend the kid:

• Said her first cuss word. Tres adorable, ne c'est pas? I called my mom to tell her about it and to inform her that it is actually her fault. She's been known to cuss (she claims my dad cusses, too, but I maintain that she's the one with the potty mouth). So then she passed this dubious legacy to me and I passed it to my daughter. Do I kiss my mother with that mouth? You bet I do. My mother says that she got it from her parents. So essentially my daughter can blame her little vice on people who died decades before she was born. I do need to be more careful, though. I don't cuss at her, of course, but when you find a pile of dog poop on the carpet, it's really hard to limit your response to, "Well, darn!" "%$(&#%$!" is much more satisfying.
• Poured hot wax on her pajamas, the carpet, and my dresser. I had blown out a lit pillar candle and didn't think anything of it. As soon as I stepped out of the room, I guess she hopped on her blue chair and investigated. If anyone has any tips for getting copious amounts of wax out of the carpeting, I'm all ears.
• Cheated at Candyland. We were playing the game yesterday when suddenly she pushed her little pawn about a hundred spaces ahead, reached King Kandy's Castle, and proclaimed herself the winner. Also, when we play she always gets to be Princess Frostine and I get stuck being Mr. Mint. (We have the Deluxe edition of Candyland where the playing pieces are 3D characters and not just cardboard cut-outs. Cuz that's how we roll.) Mr. Mint is tall and skinny and falls over a lot. I kept forgetting where I was supposed to be because I was always face-down on the Gumdrop Pass.
• Ate a chocolate sundae at DQ. It took an eternity because after every bite, she rubbed her belly and proclaimed the ice cream to be "deeeeeeee-licious." Seriously, three Christmases passed while she was exclaiming over her dessert.

That's all the news from here. Get out there and make it a great %$#&ing week!