The saddest, most pathetic sight you will ever see
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you . . . Gideon on bath day. He would rather be one of those one-eyed, matted homeless dogs in a commercial narrated by Sarah McLachlan than to endure bath day. Gretchen and Kaiser hop into the tub willingly. Gideon, not so much. First, I have to find him (as soon as my brain forms the thought "I should give the dogs a bath," he hides). Then, I have to lift him and carry him down the hall and into the bathroom. He somehow re-arranges his physical mass and adds roughly 410 pounds to his weight. Then I have to heave him into the tub while he actively tries to get back out. Eventually, he concedes the battle and then stands there forlornly while I make him smell purdy.