"You do not smell poop"

Last night I was buzzing around the house, putting away laundry and whatnot. We were getting ready to take the kid to the mall to see Santa. I was laying out A's Christmas dress as she was playing with some of her Dora toys. All of a sudden she looked at me and randomly said, in a very authoritative voice, "Mama, you do NOT smell poop."

Technically, she was correct. I had not yet picked up the aroma. But what's with the Jedi mind trick? Apparently I was supposed to reply (in a robotic monotone, of course), "I do not smell poop," and go on my merry way. Nope, nobody here has crapped their pants. No sireeeee!

Little does she know, I am planning to work on potty-training her over Christmas and New Year's (I have two four-day weekends in a row so I'm hoping to have some spare time for once). I bought a potty-training book, which I am reading at a feverish pace. I bought her a book about poop (Everyone Poops), which she studies nightly. We have the potty itself. We have reward stickers. We have everything we need except for a truthful kid. ("Did you poop?" "No.") Wish me luck.

By the way, the Santa visit went off without a hitch! A wore her pretty Christmas dress. She hopped in Santa's lap, gave him a high-five, chatted with him, and accepted two large candy canes from the guy in red. We paid $40 for a couple of photos, the kid guarded the candy canes with her life, and we were on our way within minutes. This event was in stark contrast to last year's Santa visit, where our screaming toddler (then only 1 1/2) screamed as though St. Nick had tried to saw off her legs with a rusty blade. Falalalalalala!


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