If there's worse news a person could receive, I just don't know what that would be

I went to see my podiatrist today. I've been battling pain in my feet since Octoberish. After talking with a yoga instructor, I came to realize that the pain was caused by plantar fasciitis. I then made the mistake of seeking guidance from the interwebs. Plantar fasciitis is so common that virtually everyone has had it at some point. And all God's children have advice for ya. I have been trying a bunch of different things (downward dog seems to help because it stretches the feet) but I couldn't be sure what might be helping and what might be making things worse.

Dr. D took x-rays and confirmed the diagnosis. He threw in some bone spurs for extra fun.

Here is where things took an ugly turn.  He said this: "I want you to get some Crocs." Lord. Have. Mercy.

Talk about karma. Do you know how gleefully, how relentlessly, I have mocked Crocs?

He clarified that he wants me to buy the Croc slides, like these:

They would mostly be for wearing around the house. Apparently they have some sort of arch support and since my arches have gone off duty, I need that sort of thing. When I went back to the office after my appointment, I mentioned my predicament to a couple of co-workers.

Craig said, "I can't ever speak to you again."

Ryan said, "I would rather have my feet cut off than to wear Crocs."

Other co-workers looked at me sadly and passed along their heartfelt condolences. 

So, yeah. I haven't ordered the buggers yet. I need a little more time for this to sink in. In the mean time, Dr. D. recommended an over-the-counter orthotic that I can try (I purchased a pair and have been using them, but he has a recommendation that maywork better). He wants me to check with my insurance to see if custom orthotics are covered. He also started me on Meloxicam (an anti-inflammatory).  And finally, he gave me some exercises to do (some of which I was already doing on my own). Before I left, he had an assistant wrap my feet to give arch support. I'm wondering if I can try to do this on my own because the pain has diminished considerably just from the wrapping.

I have to go back in two weeks to see how things are going. It sounds like my career as a marathoner is out the window. And I guess my days of wearing cute shoes are over, too. Man, this bites.

Let me know if you need my address so you can send me a sympathy card.

Even Gretchen said she won't be seen with me anymore if I buy Crocs.


Comments

The Lovely One said…
hahahaha! I totally agree with you. Crocs are NOT ok.
January 21, 2016 at 10:54 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's been a minute, but let's talk about my b*o*o*b*s

Image
I'm in the sixth grade. I'm sitting on the floor at my friend Sharon's house. Rachel is there, too. My well-meaning friends turn to me and gently let me know that I "really don't need to bother wearing a bra." They aren't wrong. I'm wearing one, but the situation doesn't particularly warrant it.  Two years later, I found myself sporting a C cup. My mom, a talented seamstress, made me a dress at about that time. It was a slim-fitting column dress with a matching jacket, as I recall. The white fabric had large polka dots; we jokingly called it the Wonder Bread dress. My mom took my measurements. 36-24-36 At some point in history, those numbers were considered "perfect measurements" for a woman. This was 1984; I'd like to think the world as a whole is less concerned about such things these days. I'm confident my daughter has no earthly idea what her measurements are. She just knows she's cute.  Growing up with a fun array of medi...
Read more

On Being Patriotic

The list of adjectives I assign to myself is pretty long: clumsy, organized, competent, uptight, etc. One that might surprise you: patriotic. I fully understand what it means to be an American and am darned happy about living here. But, I have a beef (that part won't surprise you). I've grown tired of certain segments of the population thinking that they've cornered the market on patriotism or that they can dictate precisely how the rest of us express ourselves when it comes to our shared country and flag. Sometimes it seems like the Toby-Keith-boot-in-yer-ass brand of patriotism drowns out the rest of us. For the record, I don't believe that patriotism requires a love of NASCAR, a disdain for immigrants, a Republican voting record, or a preference for country music. Nor does it require adherence to a specific religion. I've seen Facebook posts from some of my friends and acquaintances that call for all of us to return to the "Christian principles on which ...
Read more

14 Weeks

Image
My baby is leaving me in 14 weeks.  She and I started touring colleges in May of 2022. When I applied to colleges back in 1988, I was an English major so there were no auditions. Colleges basically just said, "Sounds good. Come on in." I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college and as a whole, I don't think we understood the importance of campus visits and such. I ended up being fairly miserable that first year until I transferred to a school closer to home. For my daughter, I wanted to make sure she had an opportunity to see lots of college campuses so that she had the best shot at figuring out what she wants out of the college experience. I wanted her to look at elements like campus size and location, diversity, activities, distance from home, and distance from the nearest "big city" (since performers often head to larger cities with active theatre scenes after college).  Last summer, we began the daunting process known as "getting int...
Read more