There must be some sort of miscalculation

The other day I received an email from a site called "Circle of Moms."  I have no recollection of signing up for these emails, but I receive at least a hundred emails a day so it's not a big deal. The more the merrier, I guess. Anyway, here is the message I received:

Happy 9th birthday to A!
Congrats mama! Your little has officially entered the "tween" stage.

What the?  She's a tween now?  She still can't even turn on the shower by herself. Twice this week she put on her jacket upside down. She pronounces the word "trolley" like "troe-lee."  She can't be a tween!

The kid's birthday is coming up in four weeks. She's been talking about her 9th birthday since her 8th birthday so it's almost anti-climactic when the big day actually arrives.  We only do parties every other year, so this is a non-party year. Why? I don't know. I just don't think kids need to have some big elaborate shindig every year. (I've been informed, however, that "all my friends get a party every year!") On the non-party years, we take a family trip instead. This year, we are going to a resort for the weekend (her choice).  My dad and his girlfriend are driving in from Maryland and will join us as well. I'm letting A bring a friend. A few kids were in the running but I suggested that she invite her cousin. I figured that if the girls start to act up, I can get away with yelling at the cousin (since she's family).  Yelling at a friend from school might be more problematic.

We'll still do cake and presents and all that fun stuff.  The resort has a pool so I'm sure there will be lots of swimming.  I'm hoping that the weather will be nice enough that we can get out and about, as the resort is in a beautiful area with a lake nearby.  I don't know what we're getting her for her birthday. She asked for an American Girl doll, but I put the kibosh on that.  If she wants one badly enough, she can do some chores and save up for it.  She has never really played with dolls much and I think this is just another I-need-one-because-my-friend-has-one dealio.  Plus, if the state of her Barbies is any indication of how she would treat a $110.00 doll . . . no dice.  Her Barbies are all naked and unkempt and spend their days all jumbled up in a big nudie pile.  [insert inappropriate orgy-related joke here]

So yes, my baby is growing up. I thought I just brought her home from the hospital yesterday?!  I don't know about this "tween" business, though. I don't think I'm ready for that.


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