It Smells Like Pink
My Muddah has received her birthday gifts, so I can tell you the TJ Maxx story now. No doubt you were waiting with bated breath.
A couple week ago, I went shopping to buy some birthday gifts for my mom. I knew I was going to a gift shop that features an alarming number of breakables that are positioned three feet off the ground. My daughter, as fortune would have it, is three feet tall. So, I left her at home with "Father" while I shopped.
When I got home, she was mad as a hornet when she realized I had shopped for Meemaw without her. Feeling guilty, I promised her I would take her shopping so that she could pick out a gift also. So, on Thursday, I took her to TJ Maxx after work.
As usual, she shed her coat as soon as she passed through the automatic doors. I have been carrying her coat all winter, like some hapless butler. I steered her towards the bath products. Immediately, she picked up a floral box containing a bar of pink Laura Ashley soap. The bar was as big as her head. I had honestly never seen a bar of soap that large and couldn't really picture my mom using it.
"Why don't you pick out one of these bath sets that has a shower gel?" I suggested. "Look, they have ribbons."
"But, I'm getting this for Meemaw," she replied with a slight frown. The boxed soap had a flat lid that stayed shut magnetically. She flipped it open for the salesperson behind the jewelry counter.
"This is for Meemaw's birthday. It smells like pink!" The lady nodded and smiled. I tucked a bath set under my arm, thinking that it would be the "real" gift.
We wandered around the store a bit. The kid skipped up to every stranger she could find and flipped open the lid of the floral box. "It's for my Meemaw! It smells like pink!" Initially I thought maybe I would ditch the soap at the register, but the more she showed it to unsuspecting shoppers, the more I knew it was ingrained in her brain and that she would never willingly part with it.
She accosted a man who was gazing at wee bottles of olive oil in the gourmet aisle. Again, I really need to have the stranger discussion with her. And soon. She told him about the soap that smells like pink and then she added, "Do you like my glitter shoes?" He turned around, smiled, and started chatting with her. Listening to their conversation, I would've guessed that the man batted for, um, the other team, as the saying goes. But then he mentioned his wife and the fact that he has twin four-year-old girls. It turns out that he knows all about glitter shoes and the like. (I suppose he could have been recruited by mistake - who knows?)
I guess she got tired of carrying the box around because she ran up to me and said, "Mama! Put this in your pocket!" She started trying to jam the floral box into my coat pocket. I pictured some loss prevention officer perking up in a monitor room somewhere in the bowels of TJ Maxx. "Okay, no . . . there's a name for people who put things in their pocket while they shop," I told her, and handed the box back.
Eventually I herded her up to the register so that I could pay for the enormous bar of soap. A couldn't resist opening the lid one last time and as she did so, the bar hit the floor with a thud and skidded a few inches. She scooped it up, put it back in the box, and handed it to me. I inspected the soap for damage and miraculously, there was none. The soap, it seems, is made of titanium. Titanium that smells like pink.
My mom called last night to thank her granddaughter for the soap and the other items we sent. And guess what? It turns out my daughter knows my mother better than I do. She gushed about the pink mammoth and said she couldn't wait to use it. "There's nothing like a good bar of soap," said my mom.
I handed the phone to the kid so that she could chat with her Meemaw while I went to finish the dishes. After a few minutes I went back and took the phone. My mom was still on the line. She told me that she had thanked A for the soap and that A had said, "I didn't drop it!"
I smiled. "Well, actually . . . "
A couple week ago, I went shopping to buy some birthday gifts for my mom. I knew I was going to a gift shop that features an alarming number of breakables that are positioned three feet off the ground. My daughter, as fortune would have it, is three feet tall. So, I left her at home with "Father" while I shopped.
When I got home, she was mad as a hornet when she realized I had shopped for Meemaw without her. Feeling guilty, I promised her I would take her shopping so that she could pick out a gift also. So, on Thursday, I took her to TJ Maxx after work.
As usual, she shed her coat as soon as she passed through the automatic doors. I have been carrying her coat all winter, like some hapless butler. I steered her towards the bath products. Immediately, she picked up a floral box containing a bar of pink Laura Ashley soap. The bar was as big as her head. I had honestly never seen a bar of soap that large and couldn't really picture my mom using it.
"Why don't you pick out one of these bath sets that has a shower gel?" I suggested. "Look, they have ribbons."
"But, I'm getting this for Meemaw," she replied with a slight frown. The boxed soap had a flat lid that stayed shut magnetically. She flipped it open for the salesperson behind the jewelry counter.
"This is for Meemaw's birthday. It smells like pink!" The lady nodded and smiled. I tucked a bath set under my arm, thinking that it would be the "real" gift.
We wandered around the store a bit. The kid skipped up to every stranger she could find and flipped open the lid of the floral box. "It's for my Meemaw! It smells like pink!" Initially I thought maybe I would ditch the soap at the register, but the more she showed it to unsuspecting shoppers, the more I knew it was ingrained in her brain and that she would never willingly part with it.
She accosted a man who was gazing at wee bottles of olive oil in the gourmet aisle. Again, I really need to have the stranger discussion with her. And soon. She told him about the soap that smells like pink and then she added, "Do you like my glitter shoes?" He turned around, smiled, and started chatting with her. Listening to their conversation, I would've guessed that the man batted for, um, the other team, as the saying goes. But then he mentioned his wife and the fact that he has twin four-year-old girls. It turns out that he knows all about glitter shoes and the like. (I suppose he could have been recruited by mistake - who knows?)
I guess she got tired of carrying the box around because she ran up to me and said, "Mama! Put this in your pocket!" She started trying to jam the floral box into my coat pocket. I pictured some loss prevention officer perking up in a monitor room somewhere in the bowels of TJ Maxx. "Okay, no . . . there's a name for people who put things in their pocket while they shop," I told her, and handed the box back.
Eventually I herded her up to the register so that I could pay for the enormous bar of soap. A couldn't resist opening the lid one last time and as she did so, the bar hit the floor with a thud and skidded a few inches. She scooped it up, put it back in the box, and handed it to me. I inspected the soap for damage and miraculously, there was none. The soap, it seems, is made of titanium. Titanium that smells like pink.
My mom called last night to thank her granddaughter for the soap and the other items we sent. And guess what? It turns out my daughter knows my mother better than I do. She gushed about the pink mammoth and said she couldn't wait to use it. "There's nothing like a good bar of soap," said my mom.
I handed the phone to the kid so that she could chat with her Meemaw while I went to finish the dishes. After a few minutes I went back and took the phone. My mom was still on the line. She told me that she had thanked A for the soap and that A had said, "I didn't drop it!"
I smiled. "Well, actually . . . "
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