Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Wait, you went where?

Despite my ardent attempts to sabotage my own happiness on Mother's Day, it turned out to be a pretty nice day. At church, we were holding a flower communion service.  This is a Unitarian Universalist tradition.  In our church, the entire flower communion service is presented by children in the religious education program, and my daughter had volunteered to read two long passages. In one passage, she had to read the word "Czechoslovakia."  We practiced it all morning.  I even wrote it phonetically for her on the paper.

When it was her turn to speak, she had a sudden bout of stage fright and one of the teachers read with her until she felt comfortable enough to read on her own. She did fine after that.  I was so proud of my baby! And yes, she pronounced "Czechoslovakia" correctly.

After church, the three of us went out to lunch. A local joint has a walnut burger that makes all my dreams come true, so we went there. We even went crazy and got dessert. We didn't have any specific plans after that, though.  The weather basically sucked, so outdoor activities were out of the question.  I did my best to relax on the couch. I was tired, in as much as my roommate had snored to beat the band the night before.  However, I am not much of a nap taker. I watched a couple episodes of the "Long Island Medium" (the hair! I can't look away!) and then decided to see what my kid was up to. She was watching shows on Hulu (on the Kindle Fire). Then I heard myself say this:

"Hey, sweetie, you want to go to Chuck E. Cheese?"  Her eyes lit up. Wait, what did I just say? Yes, I invited my child to Chuck E. Cheese. On Mother's Day. She quickly got her shoes on and announced that she was ready to go.

Now, I did drag her through Kohl's first.  Since it was Mother's Day, I thought I would treat myself to a new shirt. I know, gettin' crazy up in here. She did everything she could to get herself abducted by wandering off while I was looking at clothes. Anyway, I found a shirt and off we went.  Chuck E. Cheese is painfully close to our house. We pass it daily. We can almost see it from our back yard.  When A was a toddler we used to tell her it was closed for renovations. Then one day she asked, "But, Mama, why are there so many cars there?"

I don't mind Chuck E. Cheese as much as one might think. We never eat there - we just play games.  I play the games, too. I am obsessed with this one game that requires you to fling a token onto the moon. However, the moon moves around and acts all tricky.  This time, it was my daughter who landed on the moon and won 100 tickets. Moments later, she won 100 more at another game. She was on a roll. By the time we'd used all of our tokens, she had over 650 tickets. That sounds like a lot until you look at the prizes and realize that you could have a hundred million and you'd still only have enough for an inflatable beach ball. And maybe a plastic mood ring.

The most notable aspect of our visit to Chuck E. Cheese was not our success in winning tickets but rather, the fact that the joint was empty. I mean, all but deserted. We didn't have to wait for anything. Normally the place is packed but not, apparently, on Mother's Day. It's almost like all the other moms in our town had more sense than I do.  I'm either the dumbest mom ever or the best mom ever.

I will fling that token onto the moon next time. Mark my words. And my child will win the best piece of crap the world has ever seen!





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