Friday, April 22, 2011

The Fine Print

As you may recall, I've been fighting the whole "I need bi-focals" thing tooth and nail. I feared that getting bi-focals would in turn cause me to start playing bingo on Tuesday nights, talking about the weather way too frequently (and in far too much detail), and possibly start yelling at neighborhood children to "STAY OFF MY LAWN!"

Well, I gave in. The beginning of the end came two weeks ago when I purchased some seed packets so that my daughter and I could get our summer flower garden started (start the seeds indoors).  I had this grand plan for choosing flowers that are short enough for the planter that sits on our deck. So, as further proof that I was in need of optometrist-type intervention . . . P was looking at the Morning Glory packet and said, "Hey, you know these grow to twelve feet, right?"  Doh!  I thought I had chosen a 12-inch plant.  I guess 12" and 12' looked just the same to my old lady eyes. I have no idea what I'm going to do with those monstrous buggers. The kid and I planted a bunch of different seeds (we call ourselves "the haphazard gardeners") and will see what we get.

So yeah, my presbyopia is starting to cause me some grief. At the grocery store, I have to be able to read labels to make sure I'm not buying stuff containing dead animal flesh (it's more insidious than you'd think - even some baked goods have animal products in them).  I need to be able to read medication bottles for my child. Contracts, menus in darkened restaurants . . . the list goes on and on.

Finally, I made an appointment and threw myself on Dr. K's mercy. "I can't see but I don't want to wear glasses all the time," I told him. After my appointment, I had plans to head to Centergy class at the gym. In this class, you go from Downward Dog into a high lunge into Plank in about three seconds flat. Not only would my glasses fall off my face . . . with my skill and grace there is little doubt that I'd also manage to step on them in the process.

He gave me a pair of bi-focal contact lenses to try for a week before getting a regular prescription. I'm still having trouble with small print (even with the new lenses), so I may need to have my prescription adjusted, but they seem fine for the most part. :::sigh:::

Word to my mutha: I, your first-born child, am 41 and wear bi-focals. I just thought you should feel old, too.

An oldie but a goodie:

2 comments:

Beth said...

I'm a bit older than you but resisted bifocals, as well. No one knows, since I've worn glasses for as long as I can remember. Still, it does make one feel older, doesn't it?

Susie Rosso Wolf said...

Love love love your writing and your dogie pic too! So sweet! I think we have a lot in common.

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Smiles!
Susie