I'm a Mess

I have an owie. I guess this is just part of getting old, but it pisses me off. I somehow managed to injure my lower back in yoga class.  I was doing a pretty basic move (it was essentially a twist on the classic cat/cow pose) and felt something pop. I don't like to admit I have an owie, so I went to class again a couple days later. Then I went to the gym a couple days after that and did 50 minutes on the elliptical. I think I have some not-based-in-logic theory that something will reverse the pop and then all will be well. Kind of like how in the movies, amnesiacs just need a (second) swift blow to the head and then their memory comes back. Anyway, the back injury is just irritating, but I'm sure it will get better. Otherwise I'd have to add it to my list of permanent maladies, which includes my hips, the big toe on my left foot (injured when I fell up the stairs one time), and the thumb on my left hand (broken when I fell while carrying a glass casserole dish).

Now that I look at all of my activity in the last paragraph (and even neglected to mention that I took another yoga class this week and did some dog-walking as well) . . . why the hell am I so fat? I am not a sedentary person. It is really frustrating. My mom called me last night and had the misfortune of catching me in an "I hate myself" mood. She attempted to give me a pep talk. I could look like that mom on "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" and my mother would still say I look fabu. By the way, does anyone remember when TLC stood for "The Learning Channel?" I do. But, I digress.

I read an article a few weeks ago that stated that women in their forties have to work out vigorously at least three times just to maintain their weight. That article did not make me happy.  I mean, I know the equation. Burn more calories, eat fewer calories, blah blah blah.  It's clear that I need to work harder. I fret over my weight hundreds of times a day (I am not even kidding or exaggerating when I say that) so how could it be that I'm not motivated to change something that clearly causes me a lot of distress? I have no idea. Maybe it's just that . . . now that I'm older, this endeavor requires a lot more deprivation than I care to consider.

On a happier note, I am excited about the coming weekend. I'm joining some mom-friends for fondue tomorrow night. ("Really, Claudia? Fondue? And you have no earthly idea why you are fat?) I've never been to a fondue restaurant, so I don't know what to expect. I am going to try not to get too crazy, because dipping stuff in other stuff . . . I know that's not a low-calorie pursuit. On Saturday morning, my friend Stephanie is picking me up for a wine festival. This year it is her turn to drive. Woot! ("Really, Claudia? Drinking wine all day? And you have no earthly idea why you are fat?")  And finally, on Sunday the kid and I are headed to a fellow volunteer's house to prepare for the upcoming Boxer rescue fundraiser. It's a big annual event and a lot of work goes into that bad boy. On Sunday we are logging in items for the silent auction. This doesn't sound like it would be fun, but we all get a minor thrill out of seeing what kinds of items we can bid on at the fundraiser. Then we threaten each other about the dangers of outbidding one's friends.

That's all I've got. I've been digging a lot of new music that has been released recently. I don't think I'd love Fall at all except for the new music releases. I've had Divine Fits, Santigold, Fiona Apple, Shiny Toy Guns, and Django Django in heavy rotation. So, I'll leave you with one of my recent faves. Rock on.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Feel better and when you go for Fondue, get your own dipping sauce. I went with a group and someone wanted to dip chicken in my dinner fondue... um, no!
September 13, 2012 at 8:51 PM
Rachel said…
Do me a favor, that little voice inside your head that keeps telling you your fat, take her some place and KICK HER ASS! You are NOT fat, never have been. You are built like a normal-sized woman. You have curves and boobs and those are GOOD THINGS. You can walk for miles, ride a bike for miles, you can run after A. and play with her. You are healthy and beautiful, always have been- inside & out. Life is way too short to waste time chasing a size 2 or 6. You should be proud of yourself- even injured you worked out & you have been know to workout on VACATION! Your not fat quit listening to the mean girl in your head. Your Mom's is right by the way you are ALWAYS FABU! Love ya.
September 14, 2012 at 1:05 AM
Sam said…
As Anne Lamott says, "I'm not going to look back on my life and wish I'd eaten more salad."

:-)
September 14, 2012 at 4:06 PM
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