Summer, where art thou?

I guess the party is over.  We shut the storm windows, locked the regular windows, and turned on the heat. Blah. It was downright chilly in the house this morning.  The dogs were all snuggled up on the bed in the guest room/office. Well, the boys were all balled up like cats. Gretchen just worked her porn star pose. Like so:

I also caught her humping Gideon in the back yard earlier. Never a dull moment around here.  I made the mistake of taking both knuckleheads for a walk the other day (Kaiser, our foster dog, stayed home because he got to go last time). Now, Gideon and Gretchen are not dog-aggressive. They are both fine with other dogs.  However, they saw a Beagle standing placidly in his yard and they both lost their shit. Since they couldn't get to the Beagle, they decided that they would just kick each other's asses.  Gideon jumped on Gretchen and bit her in the head with his one good tooth.  She, in turn, whipped herself into such a frenzy that when she shook her head, white foam (from her own mouth) was flung onto her face. She looked rabid. I was waiting for Atticus Finch to come by and shoot her. Anyway, I just turned up my iPod a bit and kept walking, pulling them behind me. Not mortifying at all, nosirreee. 

Anyway, it was kind of a crazy week. I had a lot of rescue paperwork to catch up when I got back from my road trip. We have a lot of adoptions pending, so that is a good thing. I also spent much of the week horking up a lung, as did my better half. The last two illnesses to pass through our home, I failed to contract. I credited the volume of fruit I eat each day (let's hear it for Vitamin C, yo). But this one, I got. We just cough and cough. It is, as you can imagine, quite the turn-on. Speaking of turn-ons, I went to one of those Pure Romance parties last night. For some reason, most of the invitees did not show. It was kind of awkward with just a couple of us, so I had to chug a couple glasses of wine just to get through it. The Pure Romance consultant was also training a new person named Courtney, who looked exceedingly youthful to me. I finally had to ask her if she is even old enough to vote. She claimed to be 30. After the party my friend lit a fire in her fire pit out back and we sat around and tossed a tennis ball for her Lab. It was a nice way to wrap up the work week. In case you are wondering . . . no, I didn't purchase anything smutty. I just bought some bath gel and lotion. They claim to have pheromones in them. After I took a shower this morning, I asked P if he could perceive the pheromones. He took a sniff in my general direction. "What, am I supposed to start humping your leg or something?"  So romantic, that guy. I still have an unopened bottle of massage oil from the last party I attended.  So that gives you an idea of how many massages are being doled out at our house. 

Today's excitement consisted of a trip to the grocery store and then seeing "The Lion King" with Short Stuff.  We saw the 2D version. I am so over 3D. Plus, I can't see adding 3D to a movie that was not made to be 3D originally. The movie theater was full of very young children. I think their parents remembered liking the movie as kids and were anxious to share the experience with their wee offspring. I totally expect to see squirmy kids at an animated film, I truly do. What I don't expect is for the toddler in the row behind me to (repeatedly) reach over the back of my seat and PAT MY HEAD. Her parents made no attempt to stop it either. I just tried to scootch down in the seat so that the little cherub couldn't reach me.  A didn't seem that enamored with the movie. Kids have such a high thrill threshold these days.

I just realized that I never made dinner and that my child essentially ate popcorn for supper. Mother of the year right here, ya'll.


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