It's probably best if you don't ask

Every so often, I log in at Google Analytics and review the various site statistics associated with my blog. See that Google ad on the right side of my blog?  Now, I don't mean to brag here but I mean to tell you that I've earned zero dollars from that bad boy. At this rate, not only will my daughter be unable to go Ivy League or even out-of-state college, I think we are looking more along the lines of a trade she can learn in a four-hour seminar on a Saturday.

Most of the traffic reports remain fairly consistent over time.  I generally receive roughly the same number of visitors each week.  Most come to the blog directly (probably via a bookmark or email notification) and some are linked via other blogs (which I very much appreciate!)  I fantasize about being chosen as a "Blog of Note" by Blogger (an instant guarantee of tons o'traffic), but I think I've used the F word too many times to qualify for that.  The most interesting report is undoubtedly the keyword report.  This tells me what keywords visitors typed over at Ye Old Google to find my humble blog.

Allow me to share a few of these with you:

poop swamp
claudia marie (this must be from my stalker, who knows my first AND middle name)
socks on her hands
pillow pets confirmation (you need confirmation that it's a rip off? confirmed!)
chew somebody else's
neglected husband (very funny, P)
claudia marie whore (whaaaaaaaaaaaa?)
eye doctor dilation drops feel dizzy and sick (I know your pain)
fiery redhead pregnant (my little sister is knocked up again? I'm always the last to know!)
liquor store near alabaster
motorized stripper pole directions (motorized??????)
my child doesn't appear to hear me (I know your pain, too)
poop in my snow pants
alabaster and you to you big shit joke punchline (that one's hilarious!  wait, how does it go again?)

I guess it should probably depress me a little that a fair number of people visit my blog not because they think I'm a good writer, but because they've shit their snow pants and are looking for assistance.  I'll take what I can get, I guess.


Cassi said…
Now don't let this go to your head but I happen to visit your blog because I enjoy reading what's new in the life of my hermit!!
Plus I gotta keep up on what's happening with my MBFF.
So that's that in a nutshell. Keep em coming as I look forward to reading what you have to say and getting a laugh out of what's new.
Eliza said…
LOLOL Very funny!!! I think you are a great writer, actually!

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