The queen of one-liners



We had a fabulous weekend. Because we don't believe in happy mediums (media?) around here, the weather went straight from 42 degrees last week to 90 degrees this weekend. Go directly to inferno, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

We did squeeze in a lot of outdoorsy stuff over the weekend, though. On Saturday, we attended an eight-year-old's birthday party in the afternoon. The party was for the daughter of a family friend and was held at our local amusement park. We'd made arrangements for them to take A home with them, as their older daughter had agreed to babysit that evening. P and I were celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary with a cocktail cruise. It was a two-hour tour down the river and back again. Two couples from church came and it was a lot of fun. There were four bachelorette parties on the boat, but they weren't as obnoxious as such parties often are. One of the brides came around with a bouquet of blow pops and I bought one for a buck. I have no idea what it was all about (and whether or not a sexual favor was implied in some way), but I do love blow pops.

On Sunday, my neighbor and I made arrangements to take a bike ride on a local trail. She has one of those pull-behind Burleys and volunteered to pull A behind her. Her nephew would be riding in the Burley as well. Hey, if she wants to pull an extra hundred pounds behind her, who am I to argue? It was decidedly muggy on Sunday (90+). After church, the kid kept complaining that it was too hot. Finally, I said, "If you're too hot now, then you're too hot to go on the bike ride today."

She frowned and thrust her chin outward. "Mama. How could you say something so mean to such a nice kid?"

How could I, indeed?

On Sunday evening, the kid invited me to play a game of Go Fish. She has a deck of egg-shaped cards that she got from the Easter Bunny. I said, "Sure, I'll play." I'm always hesitant to accept game invitations from her because one of us is not a good sport. Nevertheless, we sat at the dining room table and played Go Fish. We bantered back in forth with "do you have a three?" and "didn't you just ask me for that?" for a while. Eventually, I had a couple of quartets on the table and she had a bunch of cards in her hand.

I asked her, "Do you have a five?"

Her response: "Just a second. I'll check around."

You'll check around? Where might it be, if not in your hand?

That kid. She doth crack me up.

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