Thanks for nothing, Gretchen
Gretchen’s Obedience Evaluation
1. On the recall, when I instructed Gretchen to come to me, did she:
a) Trot towards me quickly and obediently and then sit right where she was supposed to?
b) Walk towards me slowly but accurately?
c) Amble towards me hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure we’d ever met?
2. On the finish, did she:
a) Circle me quickly and then sit in the proper heel position?
b) Circle around me aimlessly, like a heavily-medicated mental patient?
c) Sit in one position without moving?
3. On the sit-stay exercise, when I said, “Gretchen! Sit!” what did she do next?
b) Look at me as though she wasn’t sure how a stranger like me could know her name.
c) Immediately break the sit and follow me, instantly disqualifying herself.
4. On the stand-for-exam exercise, did she:
a) Stand stock-still as the instructor approached her?
b) Almost made it except for moving just a hair?
c) Wag her nub and indicate that since the instructor is her best friend (apparently), she would go ahead and walk towards the instructor so that they could be together faster?
5. On the heeling part of the evaluation, did she:
a) Heel beautifully at my side, almost as if we were one?
b) Heel in a half-assed manner?
c) Act as though this was her first day out in public and that she had no idea why I was holding a leash that was attached to her neck?
6. On the down-stay exercise, did she:
a) Do it flawlessly and not move a muscle?
b) Get up because the Golden Retriever next to her got up?
c) Sit but not lay down?
3. b and c are both technically correct
5. b and c are both technically correct
6. This was a trick question. The answer is a.
Needless to say, we'll be repeating the same class next session. We'll just sit in the back with the dumbasses, I guess.