Wednesday, February 25, 2015

But it's an improvement! In the home!

If there are three words that my husband cannot bear to hear in one sentence, it's these: Home, Improvement, Project. So, he was less than thrilled when I kicked off a bunch of home improvement projects last week. First, I had a friend come over and uninstall (and haul away) our dishwasher. The dishwasher was old, looked like poop, and didn't work well. We're a small family and seldom used it, so I was happy to part with it.

Initially, I wondered if I might be able to handle the dishwasher job on my own. I posted on Facebook to ask how hard such a job might be. A few of my friends made it sound like all you have to do is to unplug it and then magical appliance fairies come and make it disappear. However, a couple of my more practical friends mentioned scary things about plumbing and electricity. Fortunately, one of my friends offered to send her husband over. He uninstalled it and even hauled it away for me. All I had to do was to buy him a bottle of Captain Morgan.

I was a bit afraid that once the dishwasher was pulled out, the spot where it had been might look like some post-apocalyptic scene with exposed sub-flooring and scorched cabinets. Fortunately, it looked pretty spiffy in there.  Next up: I headed to the DIY place to look for shelving. I do not spend a lot of time in such places. So it was that I was wandering aimlessly when a lady asked me, "What are you looking for?" I told her I needed shelving and she pointed to the shelving section. Then she lowered the boom: "While you're here, let me tell you about this great offer!"  I had to listen to a Direct TV schpiel. Son of a biscuit!

"I'm really sorry, but I am in a hurry because I have a dog in the car," I confessed. This was not a lie. I had just picked up my new foster dog and had him in the back of my vehicle. For all I knew, he was eating the back seat and spray painting vulgar words on my windows.

She sped up her sales pitch and then handed me a brochure with her name and number on it. "That's Terry as in 'terrific,'" she said. "Not Terry as in 'terrible!'"

I got home and snapped the shelves into place. Perfect! I love it when a plan comes together. I now have a place to store canned goods and overflow stuff that doesn't fit in our abnormally small pantry.  I just have to make sure I don't store anything too interesting in that spot because the dogs have their suspicions. I hung a curtain over the new storage area because I don't know how to make a door.

In addition to the dishwasher/food storage project, I also bought a new shower curtain, toilet seat, and shower head. I told you I was on a roll! Then I got really crazy and bought a new dish drainer and a new garbage can for the kitchen.

Next stop: painting the living room and the dining room. I picked a date (in mid-Spring) and advised my husband of my plan. "We just painted the living room!" he said.

"We painted it when the kid was a newborn and she'll be 10 in May, so . . . " 

I may have to ease him into the idea a little bit.

I'm saving the rest of my home improvement projects for my father's visit in May. He's handy. I'm hoping he can install new bathroom faucets and fix a wonky electrical outlet. In exchange, I'll scrape the dog hair off the lumpy guest room bed and let him sleep on it.

Now, who can I sweet-talk into rebuilding our deck and fixing our fence?

Sheriff says: "So, you're saying . . . dis stuff not for doggies?"

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