Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tattoo You

So, you may be wondering about the tattoo poll I posted on the blog. Or maybe not. You've never been the curious type, I know.

For years I have toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo. My brain just cannot let go of the thought, even though it always (ultimately) boycotts the notion whenever it bubbles to the top. The idea continues to intrigue me, this thought of making permanent on my skin what lives in my heart.

So, what keeps me from taking the plunge? This may be the oddest excuse out there, but here goes. As you may recall, I have vitiligo and went through total depigmentation when I was 14 (hence the name of my blog). If there is any benefit to being super fair (and also limiting my sun exposure), it's that my skin is completely unmarred. I don't have freckles or moles or anything like that - anywhere. For some reason, when I look at myself in the mirror, I have a hard time imagining myself with a decoration.

The other reason is that I worry about what the future me will think of this thing. I have a hard enough time reconciling the "one who packs my lunch" me and the "one who has to eat my lunch" me (seriously, how can I be so disappointed in my own lunch every day when I am the one who packs it?) The future me may be someone entirely different from the now me. Who knows. Plus, there are certainly plenty of reasons to be fearful. I think you'd have to agree that there are a lot of bad tattoos out there. Check out this site to see some of the worst. Will I be the same person at 70 that I am now? In about twenty years, there will be a lot of middle aged women with sagging, lumpy tramp stamps that seemed like a good idea at the time (twenty years prior). A lot of regrettable ideas are born of tequila shots and nothing more. And what about the now-responsible adult who has to sit through a job interview with the letters B-E-E-R tattooed across his knuckles, a grim reminder of a very bad night?

I worry so about making a mistake with my choice of tattoo that I've been pondering it for ten solid years. No lie. If I do get a tattoo one of these days, the loose concept I have in my head is of a celestial-type design showing four stars (for the babies I lost) and something to honor my daughter, the one I got to keep. I wish I had some artsy-fartsy skills so that I could truly envision what it would look like. For now, I guess I'll keep mulling it over.

In the meantime, here is one of my favorite songs of late, "Old White Lincoln" by The Gaslight Anthem. I like the line, "You and your high top sneakers and your sailor tattoos."



11 comments:

Steph K said...

Tattoos are funny. I rarely even remember that I have one most of the time. To me, the tattoo itself isn't representitive of me anymore, but it's a reminder of one of the best stages of my life.

Would I do it again? Hell. No. But I don't regret it either.

As for tattoos on men...when I see a guy with a full or half sleeve, I do get a little drooly. ;)

Good luck with your decision.

Susie said...

I'm not a fan of pain, so no way would I ever get a tattoo. But, if your brain ever reconciles it's issues with it, go for it! Just put it somewhere that no one will see it if you're completely dressed. In other words, spelling anything on your knuckles (or the inside of your wrist that seems to be so popular these days) is totally out! :)

Just Lisa said...

You're smart to think of the future. I don't have a tattoo, but my belly button is pierced. I didn't think anything of it at the time, and I still like it now, but what is it going to look like when I'm 70?

I'm a little grossed out just thinking about it!

The Featherstones said...

I've played with the tattoo idea, too, off and one. Mainly, I don't get one because I worry about whether I will like it in the future or not. Is what important to me now still going to be important to me in the future? Of course, as I get older, the idea of a tattoo becomes more intriguing, probably because there is less of a future ahead that I will have to look at the thing if I make a mistake. Given all that, you have the most amazing reason to get a tattoo that I have personally heard, and if you are doing it to memorialize the loves lost and the one gained, I don't think you would lose by either getting one or not. You wouldn't get tired of it. Good luck in your future decision!

Anonymous said...

My friend Amy in TX just got four paw prints starting on her ankle, on the side of her foot and ending on the top. It looks so awesome! If you want I can send you a pic. I am not a fan of tats but this one is cool.

-Laurie

Marginwalker said...

Well, we've talked about this, so you know I think it's a good idea. I've never once regretted mine. I'm more likely to forget about it than regret it. I was at a very distinctive point in my life when I did it. Some of it had to do with exercising control over my body when my world was in chaos. That's a bit high-concept, but it's true. And I love the design, just the look of having a lizard hanging on to my leg. I'll get another one, soon as I hit 100 pounds lost again. No matter what, you'll make the right decision for you.

Jen said...

I have one that I got when I was nineteen! Can you guess where? My boob. They were big and perky then and they are still big, just not as perky...LOL! Do I regret it? No. Why? Because it was done during a fun & carefree time in my life. You would never pin me as a tattoo girl now. I like things neat and orderly. I live by my schedules and lists. BUT...I am actually going to get two more this summer. Why? Because I have put a lot of thought into the designs and I want to live in the moment again.

So I say...go for it girl!!!

Laurie said...

I always thought a Boxer head would be cool. That way the more saggy and wrinkled my skin got as I aged, the more realistic it would look!

Anonymous said...

I love my tattoos! I do not simply "buy" tattoos. Each one represents an accomplishment in my life. Each one was earned the hard way and is representative of a mountain conquered. They are my daily reminders of what I have achieved through hard work, perseverance and in some cases, downright cussedness. None of mine are shown to the world unless I want it/them to be shared. All of mine were carefully chosen with the 70+ year old me in mind so when I'm in the nursing home no one will refer to me as "that crazy lady in room 12 with the bad tattoos."

El said...

i love mine and want more i have 2 now..i was not going to get the 1st one until i liked it for over a year (it is a commitment thing) and then i got it on the middle of my back between the shoulders..so when i get old and saggy it is still hidden. I also thought if i hate getting tattoos after this i never have to get another and do not have to have it staring back at me all the time..and it is a sun and moon, then i got cherry blossoms mostly because i was greiving for my mother in law..i am designing one for my kids when we finalize. They are native american so i was thinking feathers, then i wanted to incoporate my sun and thought dream catcher with the sun and moon in the center and one pinkish tink feather and blueish tint feather for the kids on my back..it will be rather large..but again still hidden and i can add more cherry blossoms through out..and because they are anarchy and chaos i would like to find something to represent them that way too,,,when i figure it out i will let ya know

Sara R said...

i have a large sunflower on my wrist that was used to cover up some dumb sh** i designed when i was 20.

you only live once - go for it