Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"When I'm a big sister . . . "


Does anyone know where I can rent a child for a day? A temporary sibling, if you will. I need one with some basic Candyland and Chutes & Ladders skills. Play-Doh and dress-up abilities a plus. Salary commensurate with experience. Forward resume with references.

When I finally became a mom, I felt so blessed, so fortunate, that I dared not wish for anything more (i.e. another child). Even now, nearly four years after her birth, I still walk into my daughter's room and think, "It really happened!" I must confess, though, that there are days when keeping an only child entertained is a bit of a challenge.

You may wonder why, then, we have not taken steps to expand our clan from three to four. There are several reasons, including the fact that I'm getting older . . . and creakier. Also, the adoption was financially expensive and emotionally expensive. Do we regret a single second of it? Absolutely not. But, we knew from the outset that we'd only travel the infant path once. Even in those early days of getting up three times a night for feedings, I never complained (or at least I tried really, really hard not to) because I realized those days would pass all too quickly and I would never know them again. We were free to pour all of our love, our resources, our time into this one tiny human. Our computer's hard drive hosts more photos of our child than the number of days she's been on the planet. Obnoxious, I know.

We have left one door open, however. When A is older, we may consider adopting a child through the state. We feel it's important that our daughter is the oldest, so it would be a child younger than she but not so young that we'd be changing diapers again. We haven't given this scenario a lot of thought, probably because there is so much to consider that it's almost overwhelming (what do we do about bedrooms? can we handle a second college fund? childcare? ack!) Realistically, it's more likely that a second adoption won't happen. We are just leaving that door cracked open ever so slightly.

Lately, the kid has been making random comments like, "When I'm a big sister . . . " She has not, however, asked specifically about having a sibling. I think she may be under the impression that one automatically becomes a big sister as part of the growing up process. For now (and possibly right up until college), she has to make do with her dad and me. I played three rounds of Candyland with her on Sunday. I rigged the cards to let her win two out of three times. Sometimes, keeping her in a good mood is more important than "building her character."

I'm usually the one to take her out of the house to various activities and events. A's dad is the one who attends most of the tea parties and such. I'm good for a few rounds of Chutes & Ladders, but I have the attention span of a gnat. He, on the other hand, will sit on the floor with her and play with Diego's rescue center for eons. By the way, I regret to inform you that Diego is no longer able to run the rescue center because, thanks to our new dog Gretchen, Diego is now a triple amputee. Not to worry, though - Baby Jaguar is now running the center quite capably. Sometimes Dora comes over and pitches in. She's a'ight, that Dora.

7 comments:

alicia said...

Poor Diego- is Alicia around to help?

Alicia- a fellow May '05 mommy from baby center- love your blog!

Lisa said...

Well... maybe you can "look into" what it will take for you guys to adopt through the state... :) I know for my kids they can get grants for college if they go to a state college because they were adopted from foster care... Just throwing that out there.... hehe

Susie said...

So much I could say, but I'll leave it at this: when you're ready, go for it! Finances, space, etc will fall into place. Somehow you'll just know if/when it's right. I'll be the first in line to congratulate you!

Mary said...

After reading what Lisa that reminded me of my good friend who adopted a few black/bi-racial kids through the state. Some were in her own foster care and some she found you might say checking out the web site, not sure exactly what that is. So if the crack ever opens further she would be a great one to get some real info. from having been there done that. I also had one child in foster care that arrived at 2 months of age. I had him till he was almost 2 and he was adopted to a local couple, he was the only foster kid I had through the state. Also I'm pretty sure even after they are adopted all medical needs are covered.
You must be like me, I can handle playing a game or two but Rick did the majority of that. I don't have much sit in me!

Steph K said...

I hereby submit a resume with references for my son. Please tell me when I can drop him off.

Laurie Green said...

For what it's worth, my youngest daughter always preferred the Boxers to her siblings 95% of the time.

Liz said...

So you need a resume, no problem. hi my name is Tori and I am 6 years old. I can play dress up and Candyland. I cna read on a second level and I can find my way around a computer. I love to do other's hair and makeup and nail polish is a must. I can't not drive so it maybe a little hard for me to visit very often but perhaps when you are visiting Grandmother we could have a playdate.

I can, however, come the entire summer as mommy needs a break, although I am not all to sure why. I am such a sweet little girl and I never do anything wrong! BWahaha, I mean excuxe me I must have a tickle in my throat.

Claudia, Tori does the same thing. "Mom when am I going to be a big sister?" Can't you hurry and adopt another one?" I want to have someone to boss around too!"

LoL! We can never win!

Liz