Posts

My Grandma Was Better Than Your Grandma

Image
Her first name was Hedwig, but everyone called her by her middle name, which was Elaine. She was of German lineage, with solid bones, fine blonde hair (she ran out of ways to make it look thicker, I think), and cornflower blue eyes. When I was a kid, I loved to go to her house in Arlington (VA) and look at her wedding photos, which lived in a leather-bound photo album that sat flat on the bottom shelf of an end table. She was the most beautiful bride I had ever seen (in all of my nine years). Picture 1950s glamour and perfectly-applied lipstick. She was divorced before I ever met her, but the wedding photos were still around. Elaine was the kindest person I ever knew, and I never heard her say a negative word about any person. Except one (and even then she kinda took the high road and held her tongue). Elaine raised three children. The man who would become my stepdad was her firstborn, followed by Diana and then Janet. She was a public health nurse, and I think her job in the community...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mom

Image
The photos worried me the most. Some were laid out neatly in old-school albums, peeking out from the plastic film covers that were carefully smoothed over them decades ago. Others floated around in drawers and closets. They told the story of a family - a family that knew happiness and brokenness almost in equal measure. Summer trips to Myrtle Beach. My prom (and wedding!). Cats - so. many. cats. Me and my sisters in Halloween costumes. My mom, looking glamorous in virtually every shot of her. My Pop (AKA stepdad) looking into the camera and holding up his hands in such a way that I can almost hear him uttering one of his catchphrases: "Outstanding!"  I arrived in Oklahoma two weeks after my mother's death. I had two goals for the trip: clean the house (as much as I could, anyway) and bring one of my mom's cats back home with me. I'd spent years fretting over her tendency to take in strays. We used to joke about inheriting cats and now here we are. I can really onl...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's been a minute, but let's talk about my b*o*o*b*s

Image
I'm in the sixth grade. I'm sitting on the floor at my friend Sharon's house. Rachel is there, too. My well-meaning friends turn to me and gently let me know that I "really don't need to bother wearing a bra." They aren't wrong. I'm wearing one, but the situation doesn't particularly warrant it.  Two years later, I found myself sporting a C cup. My mom, a talented seamstress, made me a dress at about that time. It was a slim-fitting column dress with a matching jacket, as I recall. The white fabric had large polka dots; we jokingly called it the Wonder Bread dress. My mom took my measurements. 36-24-36 At some point in history, those numbers were considered "perfect measurements" for a woman. This was 1984; I'd like to think the world as a whole is less concerned about such things these days. I'm confident my daughter has no earthly idea what her measurements are. She just knows she's cute.  Growing up with a fun array of medi...
Post a Comment
Read more

14 Weeks

Image
My baby is leaving me in 14 weeks.  She and I started touring colleges in May of 2022. When I applied to colleges back in 1988, I was an English major so there were no auditions. Colleges basically just said, "Sounds good. Come on in." I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college and as a whole, I don't think we understood the importance of campus visits and such. I ended up being fairly miserable that first year until I transferred to a school closer to home. For my daughter, I wanted to make sure she had an opportunity to see lots of college campuses so that she had the best shot at figuring out what she wants out of the college experience. I wanted her to look at elements like campus size and location, diversity, activities, distance from home, and distance from the nearest "big city" (since performers often head to larger cities with active theatre scenes after college).  Last summer, we began the daunting process known as "getting int...
1 comment
Read more

Senior Year: The Bittersweet Lasts

Image
13. That's the number of years I've spent trying to get my child out the door for school. She entered the local school district at the age of four. She is now in her final year, and nothing has changed. When she was little, I would sometimes tug off her pajamas and hand her that day's clothes. My futile attempt to speed things up. She generally chose to remain naked.  Now, she simply doesn't get out of bed. I send the dogs in. They hop onto her bed and step all over her, overjoyed, in that canine sort of way, that she exists and once again lived through the night. Grover, in particular, cares not where his paws land. Eventually, once she's crossed the line into "no way to get to school on time," she gets up. Barely, and with a slowness that makes her father's head explode, but she gets up. One of my favorite threats: "leave on time or . . . I'll DRIVE YOU!"  Having your mom drop you off at school might be the worst thing that can happen t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life is too short for white walls and self-hatred

Image
The life expectancy for an American female born in 1970 is 74.7 years. My weird health history makes me think that I could be looking at a lower figure. I definitely need to live long enough to see if my husband finally figures out how to put the frying pans away properly. (He puts the largest one on top, which results in me shrieking, "They're meant to NEST, for fuck's sake!") I also need to make sure my baby girl pursues her dreams relentlessly - she might need me on hand to swat away any doubters.  Thinking about my own mortality lately has led to a couple of minor revelations. The first involves our home. The three of us (plus two dogs, one cat, and one gecko) live in a fairly standard three-bedroom ranch-style house. We could have moved to something bigger years ago, but we opted not to do so. We moved several times in our younger years (including a cross-country move) and we were pretty much over the joys of moving by the time we bought our home. We've raise...
1 comment
Read more

Back to regularly scheduled programming (sort of)

Image
I'll bet you thought I forgot I had a blog. When my daughter was younger, there were so many milestones to document and celebrate. I churned out blog posts pretty regularly back then. How many did I write on potty training alone? These days, there is much to celebrate but eh, she already knows how to walk, is potty trained, and can ride a two-wheeler. Recently, I hung a framed letter board in A's hangout room in the basement. It currently bears a quote from Hairspray ("I'll eat some breakfast, then change the world"), but I've definitely been tempted to change it to something like, "She used to poop in the tub."  My daughter is now a junior in high school. Losing over a year of in-person schooling to COVID leaves me feeling perplexed about how we got here. She was a freshman and now she's graduating a mere 20 months from now? Her school is currently in session five days a week, in person, and masks are required. I've heard of parents pulling...
1 comment
Read more