Friday, November 30, 2018

Another bodily organ goes rogue

It all started with my lower back. It was hurting - a lot. I attributed the pain to a yoga class I attended on Tuesday. I hadn't been to yoga in a couple of weeks and figured maybe I'd just overdone it. One too many twists or something. By Thursday I couldn't even walk normally, but my back has been in spasm before so I didn't think too much of it. Plus, my crappy posture and the fact that I sit "wrong" while I'm working leads my back to revolt from time to time.

On Thursday evening I offered to take the kid to Noodles for dinner. Her dad was working so we were just going to run out for a quick bite together. As soon as I got to the first traffic light, a searing pain shot through the left side of my abdomen. I thought it would pass and continued on. I soon realized that Noodles was going to be short two customers that night. I just couldn't do it. By this time I was having trouble breathing from the pain, and I was simultaneously hot and cold. I took the first exit and headed back home.

For the next hour or two, I tried to figure out what to do with myself. I took some ibuprofen and then some aspirin. I took a very hot bath and tried to read the latest copy of UU World as I soaked. I felt dizzy when I finally climbed out of the tub. I tried to lie down in bed but couldn't find a comfortable position. Nothing made the pain better. I wasn't sure what to do. My daughter was getting increasingly upset. While it's true that she's a self-absorbed teen, she gets pretty worked up if someone around her is hurting in any way. The pain was bringing me to tears - it was just relentless. And I am someone who has a pretty reasonable pain tolerance - or at least I think I do.

Finally, I had her call her dad and ask him to come home from work in order to take me to the hospital. I gathered up some sweat pants and a tee shirt, but soon realized that I was incapable of changing my clothes. My daughter tucked them into a tote bag for me. Before long, my husband was home and I shuffled out to the car so that he could take me to the hospital.

Now, I do not deny being a somewhat vain person. I am not one of those roll-out-of-bed-and-go people. I tend not to leave the house until I've at least got some mascara on. But here I was, in my bright red pajamas from Kohl's, my hair still wet from the bath, and zero make-up. And honestly, I did not care. That's how bad the pain was.

My preferred hospital is on the other side of town, but the mister insisted on taking me to a closer one. He sped all the way there. I've been holding a grudge against this particular hospital for years because when I had my gall bladder out, they acted like they'd never met a vegetarian before. The day after my surgery, Nurse Ratched brought me beef broth and was all kinds of annoyed that I wouldn't eat it. So, I've been avoiding that hospital ever since (also, I had filled out a comment card to express my annoyance). I live in a mid-sized town but, inexplicably, we have four full-sized hospitals. I guess it's good to have choices.

My husband pulled up at the emergency room and left the car with the valet. I don't know if was my wet hair, ashen skin, or pained expression that made my plight obvious, but the valet dude ran straight over and opened the emergency room door for me. I let my husband do the talking at the registration desk. I hunched over and clutched the corner of her desk. She was very matter-of-fact (I'm sure she's seen some shit) and directed us to sit down and wait. It occurred to me that emergency rooms probably see people who are basically just trying get their hands on some opioids. Who knows.

We waited ten minutes or so before being brought back to a room. The nurse asked me a few questions and I advised her that I was already down a gall bladder and an appendix - I figured it might save her some detective work. I sat on the bed but was unable to lie down. Instead, I clutched my knees to my chest because it seemed to make the pain 1% better. "I'm guessing kidney stones," she said. Ahhhhh. This was actually making sense to me. The lower back pain wasn't from yoga after all. They made me pee in a cup and then advised me that there was blood in it (I hadn't noticed but then again I don't spend a lot of time examining such things).

Next came the attempt at an IV. It was almost an exact repeat of the scene in February when I had my appendix out. My veins, generally, prefer to be left alone. They do not easily submit to needles and such, and they do not go down without a fight. A pair of nurses (one was a student) finally got it in, but it was not anchored in an ideal way, apparently. Thereafter, I had to hold my left arm out at a very specific angle or the IV didn't work (it was attached to a pump that would start beeping if I moved even a single millimeter). Eventually, I was taken down the hall for a cat scan. The technician told me, "I'm not supposed to say, but it's a stone." So, the theories were correct.

By that time, the pain meds that were administered via the IV had finally started to work. I could breathe normally and even lie down like a normal person. I was discharged by midnight and sent home with two prescriptions (one for Vicodin and one for the nausea that accompanies the Vicodin). We stopped at a CVS to pick up the medications and P actually asked me if I was going in. Um, no, a sufficient number of townfolk had seen me in my pajamas at that point. When we got home, I took the meds and went to bed. I was just so glad to have my pain reduced to something in the range of "discomfort."

So, I'm signing off because I've now killed enough time that I can safely take another Vicodin and go back to bed. I will be drugged until the stone passes (gee, I hope it's as fun as I've heard!) My stone and I bid you good day, sir!

Monday, November 5, 2018

Broadway-Themed Bedroom, Baby!

My daughter, for some strange reason, was growing tired of the doggies-chasing-bouncy-balls stencils (in primary colors, no less) that I applied to her bedroom walls when she was a toddler. So, we hatched a plot to redo her room with a theater/music/Broadway theme. We created a Pinterest board and started sharing ideas. Some of the ideas were very, um, expensive, but most were pretty do-able. Ultimately, we started with a few of those sparks but added some of our own, too.

We started by dragging most of her stuff out of her room and shoving it into the basement. We just left the main furniture items like bed, dresser, etc. We moved the remaining furniture into the center of her bedroom and then painted the walls/ceiling white. It took a couple of coats to make the bright red, blue, and yellow dog stencils go away.

Next, I ordered some WallPops from Joann Fabric & Craft. I ordered vertical black stripes. The new paint had to "cure" for a couple of weeks so her room was in disarray during that time. I used that extra time to clean out her bookcase, closet, dresser, etc. It was time to cull all of the little kid stuff (like size 6 underwear) even though my heart broke just a little bit in the process.

I applied the WallPops on two walls (four seemed like overkill). I actually had to do some math (boo!) to get the spacing right. I will say that the WallPops material felt a little cheaper (and was a little shinier) than I might have liked, but it was pretty easy to work with. It was also very forgiving. If a stripe was crooked, all I had to do was to remove and re-hang. I was happy with the end result. There are a few small nicks here and there but I assume no one is going to inspect the walls that closely.

Other parts of the project:
  • Replaced 1980s ceiling light fixture with a more modern cover. 
  • Put together a really fun puzzle comprised of playbills from Broadway shows. Then I Modge-Podged that mofo, framed it, and hung it. This is my favorite part of the room. A and I were supposed to do the puzzle together but I did 95% of it. She insisted on tapping the last five pieces into place so that she could say had participated.
  • My mom made new curtains. Musical notes - perfect!
  • I replaced all outlet covers and the main lightswitch. 
  • I got rid of her old desk and bought/assembled a new one from IKEA. 
  • I kept her old vanity, but I replaced the drawer pulls (which were pink) with black ones to match the new color scheme. I also replaced the seat cushion on her vanity chair.
  • I picked up a new memo board to match the new color scheme. 
  • We couldn't call it a Broadway room without at least one poster, so I picked up a Les Miserables one from posters.com and framed it. 
  • A friend from church gave us an album cover of Godspell. I framed that and hung it. I liked the idea so much that I headed to a record store just down the road and bought three more albums: Jesus Christ Superstar, Hello Dolly, and Evita. (I was hoping to find Cats or Phantom of the Opera, but you get what you get and you don't throw a fit). My stad gave me a tip that Michael's has album frames at three for $25.00. I hit a sale and got them for $12.50. 
  • My friend Sarah gave me an old table a few years ago. Originally it was a sewing table and then Geo the Crested Gecko lived on it for about a year. I stripped that table and repainted it black and white. It now houses her television, PlayStation, and occasionally a sewing machine. A chest full of craft stuff lives below the table. Geo now lives in the living room and guess who takes care of him? 
  • Most of the rest of the decorating was done with decals. I consider myself to be a vaguely creative person but not necessarily an artistic one. I didn't feel like I was going to pull of any type of artwork on my own, so I went with the decals. I found some pretty fun ones, if I do say so myself: stars, a quote from Hamilton, music notes, etc. 
  • Finally, I replaced some items in the room to match the new color scheme. For example, the canvas bins on her dresser are new. 
The most startling thing about this whole process was the fact that she didn't seem to need most of the stuff we moved to the basement. It just goes to show you that we all have too much crap.  The essential items (like her musical instruments, shelves, etc.) were incorporated back into her room. We kept anything with true sentimental value. I took a carload of old books, clothing, and toys to Goodwill. Other stuff was tossed out - particularly anything that was broken or had dried slime at the bottom. If you are a parent, you know what I mean about the slime.

Anyway, I am pretty happy with the results. I'm officially done with the project now. The kid seems happy. In just a few years, she'll be off at college. I feel like the current theme is grown-up enough to see her through until we kick her out and insist that she start adulting.

If you click/tap any of the images, you should be able to view a full-sized version.