Monday, December 8, 2014

The Kid's Christmas List (Subtitle: Surely You Jest)

My daughter handed me her Christmas list a few weeks ago. I offered to give her my Christmas list and she just gave me a "does not compute" look in reply.

The other day she handed me an addendum. "That's not how this works," I told her. "You only get one list."

Then, a day later she asked to have it back so that she could edit it. Seriously, kid, give it a rest.

A few of the items on her list are pretty straightforward and yes, she's getting them. She wants a dress form for sewing and a table for laying out patterns and whatnot. Some of her gift "suggestions" are dumb but I'm buying them anyway, such as this bird in a cage.

What's on the addendum, you ask? A Netflix subscription, Darn Yarn (I thought it said Damn Yarn but I'll take her word for it), and a bunch of sports stuff: a new helmet, a soccer ball, a basketball, and a volleyball. What's weird about these items is that my kid has almost zero interest in sports. We took her to a hockey game last weekend and I seriously don't think she glanced at the ice even once.

Here's the stuff she's definitely not getting:
  • A "gineau" pig.  Ha ha ha ha!  I actually thought about it for half a second and then remembered who would be taking care of the "gineau" pig. My to-do list is plenty long already, thankyouverymuch.
  • Orbeez foot spa. Ha ha ha ha!  If you're not sure why this one is a problem, I would encourage you to look carefully at the picture. 
  • Karaoke machine with microphone. I don't want to buy a cheap one and I don't want to invest in an expensive one, so there you go.
I was unsure about a few of the other items so in those instances I passed them along to her aunts and a cousin. She asked for the High School Musical 1, 2, and 3 DVDs. I'm sure I'll live to regret it if some sucker does buy them for her. She has watched Camp Rock about 87 times and has memorized the songs. I would REALLY like to thank my middle sister for sending the Camp Rock CD a couple months ago. In exchange, I've threatened to buy this for her three-year-old. 

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