I'm busy preparing for the biggest event of the year - Her Highness' birthday. Now, I must say that there aren't too many occasions on which I'm reminded that my daughter does not carry my DNA around. However, one of those occasions occurred the other day. The topic of birthday cake came up.
"Hey Goober," I said. "What flavor cake should I order for your birthday?" We're going out of town for her birthday but we're going to take the cake with us.
"Vanilla," she responded. "Vanilla cake with white frosting."
"Oh okay. White and white. No, um, chocolate?" I glanced at my husband and we exchanged a look that should be translated as what kind of sicko wants a cake with no chocolate in it?
She looked at me like I'd suggested that she eat a cat poop cake with vomit frosting. "Um, no, Mom. JUST VANILLA. That's what I want."
So, I dutifully stopped at the bakery yesterday and ordered a cake. I was also instructed very specifically to have blue flowers added, so I passed along that requirement as well. At the bakery counter, they had some samples of chocolate cake so I consoled myself by eating a sliver of that. She also wants me to bake cupcakes for her class. I have been instructed to bake a set of chocolate ones and a set of vanilla ones. I just do what she says - path of least resistance and all.
See, if she had my DNA, there is no way she would ever request anything other than chocolate. I mean, what kind of circus freak am I raising here???? She also prefers vanilla ice cream. This is generally a good thing because then I am not tempted when we have it in our freezer. Vanilla. Ain't nobody got time for that.
The next birthday-related task is to decide upon a gift. I think my sisters are going in on an American Girl doll for the kid. Suckas! She will be thrilled, I'm sure. My middle sister is even taking A to an American Girl restaurant when the kid visits her in July. By the way, you have the watch the video of Conan at an American Girl store (below). I've watched it several times and I laugh until I cry every single time.
As for what her dad and I are going to buy for her . . . I think we may go for a sewing machine. I posted a query on Facebook as far as what kind to buy, and I got a ton of helpful advice. Apparently many of my friends are very artsy-craftsy and know about such things. The big challenge for me is that I don't know how to sew and have no interest in learning. I don't wanna be a sewer. I can sew a button on a shirt or fix a tear, but that's about it. I have a vague recollection of learning to use a sewing machine in home economics when I was in seventh grade (I think they actually called it "Teen Living" or something dumb like that) but I can't say that anything stuck with me. I made a turtle pillow. Done and done.
So, I'm also looking into local classes so that a real live grown-up can teach her. Then maybe the kid can make some clothes for her ugly new doll, too (to my sisters: just kidding!) If my mom lived closer, I know she would help. I do worry a bit about my daughter's patience (or lack thereof). Sometimes she gets mad at her iPad and punches it. Then we tell her she owes us $300 and take it away from her for the rest of the day.
I think the sewing machine will be a good gift, though. They're not super expensive and it seems like a good skill to learn. She likes fashion so who knows, maybe she'll start making her own ugly clothes vs. buying the eyesores at Justice.