Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Not that! Anything but that!

Life has been pretty quiet with the kid gone.  She flies back home on Saturday. Her dad and I have decided to make a weekend of it (after we pick her up) and stay overnight at a hotel near the airport.  We've promised her a trip to the Rainforest Cafe, because we enjoy over-priced meals layered with jungle sounds and mediocre service.

While she's been gone, I've spent quite a bit of time cleaning out her room. I feel like I should make her apologize to the planet for the sheer volume of paper she has used over the last year or so. I'm also trying to smuggle out a few things before she gets back. I want her to give some of her "little kid" toys to her younger cousins. She also has more books than she needs. I called her the other day and asked her if we can give away her series of Muppet Babies books. "No," she sniffed. "I like to read them when I am alone." Seriously?  What a giver, that kid.

The worst thing that's happened while she's been gone is that I went swimsuit shopping on Sunday. I have not purchased a new swimsuit in years. Like most women, I would rather eat glass than to try on swimsuits. But, we have a vacation coming up and . . . I had a coupon for 20% off at Kohl's.  So, it was with a great sense of foreboding that I headed over to the mall on Sunday afternoon.

Now, I have never owned a bikini in my life. Between having vitiligo and waging a life-long battle with my weight, my default thinking has always been, "Nobody wants to see this."  There is no bikini in my future, either. I've always worn one-piece suits.  When I was in my teens and 20s, I remember thinking that there could be no fate worse than a one-piece swimsuit with a skirt on it. I saw them on older, not-so-thin ladies at the pool/beach and thought it seemed like a death sentence somehow. I don't know. I was young and foolish.

Over the past few years, however, I've noticed that swimwear has changed a bit. Now it is possible to wear a tankini and a pair of swim shorts and not feel desperately out of place (or tragically out of style).  You get a little more flexibility, can go to the bathroom a LOT more easily, and you're not showing as much skin as might be required otherwise.  So, I grabbed a bunch of different combinations of stuff and trudged over to the fitting room. I locked myself in a fitting room stall and took a deep breath. Ten minutes later, I had literally broken a sweat from wrestling my way into various tops and bottoms..  Nothing fit. I kept looking at the size tags. Did I grab the wrong bleeping size or what? Nope, I just suck.  Finally, I selected a tankini (the kind that has a built-in bra with an underwire) and a pair of ill-fitting swim shorts. It seemed like the best I could do.

So, spirit broken, I walked to the register and bought the damn swimsuit.  At least I had a coupon.

The best thing that's happened this week is that we got new kitchen tile. I know - super exciting, right? P stayed home from work so the installer could come on Monday. My husband did not particularly want new tile, even though the old tile was 25 years old and full of dings and scratches. We do not argue often, but we did argue over my insistence on purchasing new tile. We're talking "sleep on the couch for several nights" kind of arguing. But, now we're back to normal and the tile has been installed. Next, I start negotiating for new carpeting. I should probably just drag my pillow and blanket over to the couch right now.

Kaiser sez; Would ya just look at this new tile???

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