Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Minor Identity Crisis

A dog sittin' on my kid. Ah, just like home.
For the first couple of days our daughter was in Oklahoma, we didn't hear from her at all. I called to speak to her on Sunday but she was too busy swimming to talk. I was happy to hear that she was having a good time. On Monday, she went to the park and had ice cream and had all sorts of fun with her cousins. On Tuesday, the dam broke. Homesickness set in.

Her dad and I spoke to her on the phone Tuesday evening.  She was practically morose. It was one of the hardest phone calls of my life. She cried and said she missed us.

"We miss you, too, sweetie.  But, don't worry about us.  Just have fun!"

Eventually, I needed to hang up and get ready for yoga, but that just made her cry harder. "Don't leave me, Mama!  Don't hang up, Mama!"

This went on for quite a while until I convinced her that she should go help Aunt Craggy with dinner.  But oh man, that was one tough phone call.  I began to wonder if I'd made a terrible mistake by sending my child so far away.

I went to yoga and found some clarity.  Yoga often helps me get my mind straight.  I think it's important for my daughter to spend time with family and also to gain some independence from us. Plus, I know she is making some great memories in Oklahoma. As a matter of fact, when I spoke to her on the phone I told her that even if she came home right now, her dad and I are just the same boring old people who make her brush her teeth before bed. She'll have a lot more fun where she is now.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that once she is over the hump of homesickness, she'll just focus on having a kick-ass vacation.

As for us, the house is quiet but we are muddling through.  I don't mean to imply that my child cramps my style at all, but while she is gone I am focusing on doing some stuff I can't normally do. P and I went biking on Monday after work. We biked 12 miles or so. When we bike with the kid, she pedals for about a mile and then makes us stop and buy her ice cream. P works a second job on Thursday and Sunday nights, so normally I need to stay home on those evenings. On Sunday I got together with my friend Becky* at a wine bar. I drank sangria on the patio - perfect!  On Thursday night I am planning to go to yoga.  And, we have a date night planned for Friday night. Yes, we are just all kinds of crazy up in here.

My middle sister told me that after her divorce, the first time the kids went to visit their father, she did not know what to do with herself.  She said she wandered in and out of stores without buying anything, wondering, "Who am I? What did I used to like to do?" I am feeling like that myself at the moment.  I miss my daughter desperately but it's also sort of exciting to be able to order a pizza with any toppings I want.  (We've been eating plain cheese, per A's orders, since 2006). 

One project I have planned for the next week or so is to clean out A's room. She is pretty nervous about it.  I am not going to dismantle it entirely, but I need to clean out her bookcase and toy box, at the very least. Funny how kids don't even notice when you ditch some of their stuff.  But just make sure they don't find their artwork in the recycle bin in the garage. Hell hath no fury. I say that from experience.

*I have at least six friends named Becky/Rebecca.  I just wanted to mention that.  I also have at least ten named Jennifer.

2 comments:

Jen said...

You're an awesome mom. Enjoy your time to replenish your soul. That angel will come back loving you even more and will be thankful she didn't come home early. It's healthy to have that separation.

The Lovely One said...

I think I would be the same way if I was suddenly without kids! It sounds so good on paper, but if it should really happen, I would be wandering arounf like a lost puppy! I hope A gets over her homesickness and has a great time!