Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I'll tell you where you can put your health assessment


 You may recall that I:
  • Have been stressed about a health assessment that my husband's employer required me to complete. Our medical insurance is through his work and apparently they've devised new and clever ways to make us miserable in the future if we fail to complete our individual health assessments.
  • Have been re-thinking my diet a bit, based on some recommendations from a trainer/vegan friend of mine.
First, the health assessment. I did it (at 7:30 this morning) and I hated it. I had to fast for 12 hours and since breakfast is my favorite meal, I was feeling pretty surly by the time I got to the clinic for my appointment. Anyway, I got to the clinic on time and then had to cool my heels in the waiting room for 30 minutes. Finally, a nurse-type person called my name. I say nurse-type person because there were some letters after her name (on her nametag) but they didn't mean anything to me. She weighed me and measured my height.  Then she brought me into an exam room, where she proceeded to measure my waist and hips. I immediately regretted my wardrobe decision.  I was wearing a skirt, a sweater (with a camisole underneath), and tights. So, I think I counted four layers over my waist. I tried to pull up the sweater but she wasn't havin' it. Then she measured my right wrist.

Part of me felt like my bosom should have been measured, too. I mean, I am not thin but I am proportionate. And I must say that my wrists seem normal (my body hasn't found a way to store fat there, but I'm sure it's doing its best to make it happen). Anyway, I guess the BMI charts don't care if you've never smoked a cigarette in your life or that you work out at least three times a week or that you've been a vegetarian for 24 years and eat scads of fruits and vegetables daily. The chart doesn't want to know all that. It just knows you have a, um, somewhat ample lower half. So, I guess some goober in a lab jacket will compile my results and determine that I am . . . fat. 

The nurse-type person also took my blood pressure and absconded with a vial of my blood as well. And that was it. Literally, the least fun you can have on a Wednesday morning. I don't mean to be unkind, but the young woman measuring my waist was . . . well, let's just say that I'm downright svelte by comparison. I am not sure why I am mentioning it except that I think there's just a shade of irony in there somewhere. 

When I got to work, I ate a Vitatop and some grapes and then set out to expand my fog of irritation so that it would envelop my coworkers as well. Now I guess I just wait for that stupid report to come in the mail so that I can get pissy all over again.

Now, about the eating stuff.  I have been tracking on Sparkpeople for about ten days now.  As I suspected, it was super tedious at first. However, once I got most of my food entered and saved as a favorite, it got easier. Plus, I cycle through four different breakfasts (and repeat some lunches as well), so all I have to do is copy a previous meal onto the current day and I'm all set. I am also recording my workouts on Sparkpeople.  As much as I find value in the Weight Watchers program and the "points" concept, I have found it helpful to see my food for all of its individual components. Sparkpeople tells me how many milligrams of salt I should have in a day, how much protein, carbs, etc. I guess the good news is that my normal diet falls into the "right" range for the most part. Right amount of calories and so forth. The bad news?  I've only lost a few pounds. For the past three days, I've even managed to gain half a pound a day. It is so hard, sometimes, not to say, "Fuck it." It feels like some cosmic joke or something.

Anyway, I did take Bianca's suggestion and have cut back on soy. I'm also limiting my fruit intake later in the day.  I've started eating a handful of nuts periodically instead of a handful of pretzels.  I haven't made any other big changes at this time. Mostly, because I really just don't want to.  I dunno - maybe I am still just irritable from this morning. I have half a mind to take my fat ass and my skinny wrists to a bar and drink the rest of today's calorie allotment.

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