Saturday, August 11, 2012

The intricacies of the school supply list

We're leaving for the state fair this morning but I wanted to get this little gem written down before I go. As a parent, I think it's extremely important that I chronicle everything that will embarrass my child later.

Last year, I waited too long to buy school supplies. We generally take a vacation in late August (as we will again this year) and I don't like to think about school until, well, Labor Day. My daughter is extremely excited about going back to school, however. She is a big, bad second grader now. There are three grades under her so I'm sure her level of power on the playground is growing day by day.  For me, school is . . . a lot of work. Between making lunches and dealing with the mountain of paper that comes home every day, not to mention the homework and the reading logs, I'm usually sick of it all by Halloween. I am not sure why all of the jobs fall to me just because I have ovaries.

Anyway, after finding the school supply section was all but empty when I went last year, I decided to suck it up and buy the supplies last night. I grabbed the list and the kid and I headed to the store that was promising ten-cent folders and glue sticks. I quickly determined that a few of the items on the list were a little bit ambiguous - or at least were not packaged such that I could buy exactly the needed quantity. 4 black dry erase markers. Well, does she need the thin ones or the fat ones? 2 red pens. I had to buy a whole box because they are not sold singly or doubly. Another item on the list: post-it notes that are 1 1/2 by 2 inches. As far as I can determine, after visiting two stores, this size does not exist. Very funny, teacher lady!

After about an hour, we had just about everything on the list except for the two composition books that were required. My daughter scanned the shelves and asked me what they would look like. "They're usually black and white," I said. "The cover kind of looks like it's marbled." 

I continued to study the stacks of post-it notes while she looked for the composition books. A few seconds later, I heard her gasp. And then she exclaimed, for all the world to hear:

"MOM! MOM! I FOUND THE CONSTIPATION NOTEBOOKS!"

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