Sunday, May 15, 2011

Further proof that I've lost my mind

I submit to you the following:

1. On Thursday night, I went to the gym. I did 45 minutes on one of the elliptical machines. The row of machines faces a wall of TV screens. I generally listen to my iPod and just sort of glance at E! or the History Channel periodically. They also have a Spanish channel playing at all times, so it wouldn't matter it I could hear that one or not. Anyway, I finished my workout and climbed down, taking my water, towel, and iPod with me. I grabbed a gym-supplied spray bottle and towel off a nearby ledge so that I could clean my stank off the machine.  I turned around and . . . had no earthly idea which elliptical I'd just been on. Nary a clue. No one else was on the ellipticals at that time so I didn't have a "two machines down from the guy who wears spandex bike shorts" landmark to work from. There are about a dozen machines in the row.  I approached the one I thought I might have been on and touched the handles to see if they might be warm. Nope. I tried the one to the right of that one. No dice. Gah!  I looked up at the television screens. Had I been watching from this angle? Or maybe this one? There were two or three people on the treadmills behind me, and I'm sure they were enjoying my little investigation immensely.  Finally, I gave up and cleaned two of the elliptical machines just for the hell of it. I then collected my gym bag and my pride and slunk out the door.

2. I keep opening Google to look something up and then have no recollection of what I needed to find. Seriously, I do it at least once a day.

3. Yesterday I worked at a fundraiser for the rescue.  We held it at a local veterinary clinic.  We had a bake sale, raffle, food, etc. About halfway through the event, I needed to use the restroom. I had been to the clinic a couple times in the past so I had a basic idea of where the restroom was. After I was done, I sold a few raffle tickets and then chatted with one of my fellow volunteers. "I almost used the men's room earlier," she said. "I didn't see the sign at first."

"Oh, um, there's a men's room?"  I guess I thought there was just one restroom. So yes, I had just peed in the men's restroom.  This actually explained a few things once I found out, though.

In other news, I have to show you my favorite Mother's Day gift. I'm gonna wear this shirt all summer, ya'll.

2 comments:

Steph K said...

So I looked at the clock yesterday when I remembered it was Summer Nubbin and it was 1:30. No way about it...I suck.

Love the T-shirt, though!

Anonymous said...

Boy, you sure are getting old and senile. I figured it was one of us and it didn't seem to be me, so thanks for clearing that up. By the way, I refuse to believe that any person I gave birth to has "stank" anywhere on or about their person.
Love,
Your mother