Sunday, February 6, 2011


First off, my husband is not funny.  He makes me laugh maybe twice a year, tops.  When he does say something funny, it is usually unintentional.

My daughter received a piggy bank from her Meemaw for Christmas.  The piggy bank is electronic and calculates a running total as you put coins through the slot.  P tends bar two nights a week (second job) and often gives A some change from his tips. Meanwhile, her Great Grandma sent the kid some money for Christmas.  I took her to Toys R Us the day after Christmas because she needed to spend her loot ASAP.  She chose a tabletop-sized red gumball machine. The gumball machine takes pennies.  I filled it with gumballs and set it on the baking rack in the kitchen (because letting her keep it in her room seemed like a very, very bad idea). 

Predictably, the kid started shaking down me and her dad for pennies. Even when she already has gum, she feels compelled to buy gum for us (whether we want it or not - usually not). When we started refusing to supply pennies, she took things into her own hands and started getting them out of the pig, which has a circular trap door under its squiggly tail. She would empty the the contents via the circular opening, grab a few pennies, and then put the rest of the money back in through the slot in the top.  Before we knew it, the electronic display indicated that she was well on her way to making our next mortgage payment even though the actual contents of the pig totaled something more like three bucks.

Recognizing what was causing this issue, P opened up the pig, reset the total to zero and, with a completely straight face, said the following:

"Listen, if you take it out through the butt, you have to put it back in the butt."

Gosh, I can hardly wait for her to repeat that one at school.


Lisa said...


Mary said...

LOL!! Sounds logical to me!!;)

Khudson33 said...

I started a stressfull new job today- this seriously made my entire week--- hillarious. Thanks!

Lisa.Y. said...

seriously funny- maybe even more so because it was unintentional