Thursday, September 10, 2009

Stunned

Yesterday at work, two of my co-workers were let go. We were a very small web development team - just five people. The President of the company was relieved of duty in July, and two more team members were lost yesterday. Now there are just two of us. More of a duo than a team, I guess.

This is the first time the sinking economy has had such a major impact on my life. The shareholders are looking to sell the company and I will probably lose my job when the company is sold. They want me to hang in there until then. An old friend posted condolences on my Facebook page and mentioned "survivor's guilt." I think he was dead on. I feel terrible for my co-workers who lost their jobs and I have no idea why I was spared (at least for now).

So, I have nothing witty to say this week. Looking at my co-workers' empty desks makes me physically ill. I didn't sleep at all last night and found myself at 2:30 a.m. watching Dr. Phil episodes saved on my DVR. The dogs were confused. Is it morning, and if so, shouldn't you be feeding us? I went to the grocery store last night and felt an overwhelming desire to binge on something horrible. It's disappointing to realize that even with four years of Weight Watchers meetings behind me, I'm still :::this::: close to consoling myself with baked goods. Gluttony, thy name is brownie bites.

I feel fortunate to have a job, even though it is a job that is now almost impossible to do. This bites. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, economy.

5 comments:

Sammy said...

I'll second that "Fuck You" to the economy! My husband lost his job 7 months ago, when our baby was 8 weeks old. The feeling of vulnerability was overwhelming. It's a crazy time, for sure. We've all just got to hang in there.

Susie said...

I once went from managing 3 people to being a one woman show--it stunk, big time. You'll get through this--maybe the new owners (if/when they sell) will love you and keep you on. You're in my prayers. If you need me to talk you down from the brownie bite craving, give me a call. . . . eating your way through this mess will only make you more upset in the long run. And you'll probably puke, too. Hugs from Oklahoma . . .

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Everything happens for a reason. I lost my job of 25 years last summer due the ecomony, the company closed. During the 2 months I was unemployed my daughter had an emergency apendectomy and my husband had to have knee surgery. I was home to care for them. Found a job for 5 months, business went south, out of work again. During this 6 month period, my best friend had what was thought a stroke, but it turned out that she was diagnosed with MS. I was available to take her to her therapy sessions and cheer her on. I was also able to spend some serious bonding time with Edie. We worked really hard to get her to be a more "normal" dog. She can go on 2 mile walks without being such a "spaz". I am now back to work, first week back. I'll just wait and see what path God has choosen for me this time.

Leslie

Cindy and the bullies baby! said...

I had the same feeling last week. However *I* knew these people were being "laid off" before they did. Their lay off has given me more work and more hours and I shouldnt complain because *I* have a job, but it was hard knowing these people were leaving and I couldnt say a word. We downsized 3 people, one of which we really needed to keep on. 3 people all with families and children finished their jobs on friday. Its very hard to look at them as you know they are hitting the stuggle.

Khudson33 said...

Keep your head up and hang in, we were there in January & February and are hanging on to every every employed day here as well! Best wishes.