The last person on the planet to get a DVR: me
My friend Leslie is always bragging about how she DVRs shows like "The Woman with Giant Legs" and "I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day." (These are actual programs on TLC - look 'em up if you don't believe me. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.) With each passing day, I have grown more and more bitter about her and her "I'm not tied to the linear passing of time so ninny-nonny-boo-boo" attitude. Me, I'm stuck watching "Wow Wow Wubbzy" in real time while my favorite programs go on without me.
When I visited my mother in Oklahoma last month, even she was not locked into regular television. She has a brand new flat-panel screen and DirectTv to boot. (And this is a woman who nearly went into cardiac arrest when we got a new VCR and a new microwave in the same week when I was in junior high.) But now she has conquered technology and even has wireless internet and a laptop. My mom has some sort of abnormal fixation on the show "Cops" (we are planning an intervention) and can now record it to her heart's content. Drunk with power, however, she went a bit overboard with the "record" button and began recording programs like "Good Times." My daughter was trying to watch "Oswald" on Noggin one morning, when all of a sudden the TV switched channels and started recording "Good Times." This happened three mornings in a row, though my mother was asleep at the time. When I asked her about it later, she acted like she had no earthly idea who in her home was trying to record a 30-year-old sitcom. I should point out that my mother lives alone (well, her plus four surly cats.)
Anyway, eventually I realized that I was the last person alive who was watching TV shows as they were actually being broadcast. I called Time Warner Cable and asked about the DVR. The tentative voice on the other end of the line informed me that I could get a DVR free for six months and then pay $4.00 a month for 18 months after that. I thought that sounded pretty good. "How about for two TVs?" I asked. She assured me that the pricing was good on two.
I hauled our two digital cable boxes over to the Time Warner office on New Year's Eve. "Oh, noooooo," the man behind the counter said, his i-can't-believe-i-have-to-fucking-work-on-new-year's attitude more than apparent. It would cost something like $8.95 a month for the second DVR. I decided to pass and went home with one DVR and one regular digital cable box. In talking with other friends who have Time Warner, I'm pretty sure we are all paying different amounts for the same services - I really think it is a matter of which customer service representative you get when you call, and how much they hate their job (and maybe you) on that given day.
After a fair amount of cussing and calling the mass of cables behind each television a few names, P had both boxes set up. I immediately set up the DVR to record "Dogtown," a show on the National Geographic channel that I never seem to catch. I may watch it later. Shit, I may never watch it - just to prove I can.
Oh, and I should put this part in very small print but . . . Time Warner seems to have given us a slew of movie channels that we are not supposed to have but we'll just be vewy, vewy quiet about it until they notice.
When I visited my mother in Oklahoma last month, even she was not locked into regular television. She has a brand new flat-panel screen and DirectTv to boot. (And this is a woman who nearly went into cardiac arrest when we got a new VCR and a new microwave in the same week when I was in junior high.) But now she has conquered technology and even has wireless internet and a laptop. My mom has some sort of abnormal fixation on the show "Cops" (we are planning an intervention) and can now record it to her heart's content. Drunk with power, however, she went a bit overboard with the "record" button and began recording programs like "Good Times." My daughter was trying to watch "Oswald" on Noggin one morning, when all of a sudden the TV switched channels and started recording "Good Times." This happened three mornings in a row, though my mother was asleep at the time. When I asked her about it later, she acted like she had no earthly idea who in her home was trying to record a 30-year-old sitcom. I should point out that my mother lives alone (well, her plus four surly cats.)
Anyway, eventually I realized that I was the last person alive who was watching TV shows as they were actually being broadcast. I called Time Warner Cable and asked about the DVR. The tentative voice on the other end of the line informed me that I could get a DVR free for six months and then pay $4.00 a month for 18 months after that. I thought that sounded pretty good. "How about for two TVs?" I asked. She assured me that the pricing was good on two.
I hauled our two digital cable boxes over to the Time Warner office on New Year's Eve. "Oh, noooooo," the man behind the counter said, his i-can't-believe-i-have-to-fucking-work-on-new-year's attitude more than apparent. It would cost something like $8.95 a month for the second DVR. I decided to pass and went home with one DVR and one regular digital cable box. In talking with other friends who have Time Warner, I'm pretty sure we are all paying different amounts for the same services - I really think it is a matter of which customer service representative you get when you call, and how much they hate their job (and maybe you) on that given day.
After a fair amount of cussing and calling the mass of cables behind each television a few names, P had both boxes set up. I immediately set up the DVR to record "Dogtown," a show on the National Geographic channel that I never seem to catch. I may watch it later. Shit, I may never watch it - just to prove I can.
Oh, and I should put this part in very small print but . . . Time Warner seems to have given us a slew of movie channels that we are not supposed to have but we'll just be vewy, vewy quiet about it until they notice.
Comments
We don't have "cable" so we get abnout 10 channels...all broadcast. (O.k. well 15 if you include the town and shopping channels)
So you aren't...well...weren't alone!
Happy New Year!
Jen
And enjoy those movie channels--your secret is safe with me . . .